[LIVE] Do Enneagram 5s think they're smarter than everyone else?

[00:00:00] Josiah: Hello

[00:00:02] and welcome to Enneagram five Live.

[00:00:05] Cody: Hello. Hello.

[00:00:07] Josiah: We're back everybody.

[00:00:10] Cody: We're back. Finally.

[00:00:13] Josiah: It's been a fun few months, uh, but we are.

[00:00:17] Back in

[00:00:18] in the saddle, as they say. Uh, doing a live. And we also have started recording episodes again. So basically we, uh, you know, we decided to move to weekly and, but our systems did not, uh, weren't really up to that. And so

[00:00:39] we

[00:00:39] we ran out of, uh, recorded episodes that we'd had before we had a chance to record more in our, and get our schedules lined up.

[00:00:47] So here we are, we're back and we're trying to cram a bunch of, um, episodes in recording before Cody moves. So

[00:00:57] Cody: Yeah. Which was not planned

[00:00:58] Josiah: yeah, lot going on right

[00:01:00] Cody: Yeah. Yeah. Moving really put a, a damper in a lot of things for me. So it's, uh, it's been a whole priority shift, but it'll be, once it's done, it'll be good.

[00:01:10] Josiah: Yeah. So since we haven't done one of these in a little while, the, just to recap the format, we always check in with a red, yellow, green, just kinda see how we're each doing. And then, uh, we talk about current, current curiosities. So, uh, what are some research rabbit holes that we've been going down lately?

[00:01:30] Um, we're gonna talk about, uh, whether or not fives think that they're smarter than everyone else, which will be a really fun discussion. We're gonna do a, would you rather, and then we're gonna, we have our last segment is, uh, growth versus comfort, where we talk about kind of where we're leaning into growth lately and, and where we're still kind of hiding in comfort.

[00:01:51] So all that said, Cody Red, yellow green.

[00:01:58] Cody: I am currently,

[00:02:03] I wanna say green.

[00:02:05] Josiah: All right. tell me

[00:02:06] why. 

[00:02:08] Cody: Well, we just bought a house, so that's. That was, if you had asked me two weeks ago, I was probably red. But now that things have settled down in that process and we're basically just like on the last little sprint to closing, hopefully everything goes smoothly. So that's been like off my plate lately, um, in my brain.

[00:02:25] And we've been recording again, which I always love. Um, hints all of this lighting and stuff behind me. And, um, yeah,

[00:02:36] everything's been

[00:02:37] kind of just, you know, cruising as it can. So I don't really have any complaints right now. Like here in, you know, a couple weeks I will be red again. So I'm just gonna enjoy the little bit of a, a green, a little stint of green.

[00:02:49] I will, I'm going to, uh, accept it. I'm trying to, uh, I don't know if I'm actually green or if I'm just like living in this fantasy of pretending that I'm green because I just wanna break. Um, that might be a little bit of it too. Um, but yeah, so other, pretty much just green, I would say. How

[00:03:06] Josiah: Nice.

[00:03:06] Cody: you?

[00:03:08] Josiah: I am also green. Yeah. Uh, I, it's been a, a crazy few months and I'm, I know we will get into that in upcoming episodes, but, uh, I had, I, I was not green earlier. Um, I was probably yellow trending red. Just, uh,

[00:03:35] I, I

[00:03:37] scheduled this. I forgot that Amy and I. Had a joint therapy session this afternoon. And so I, when I realized that this morning I, or actually last night I started, uh, to get really anxious because one, I had to get a lot done today and then I knew that I was going to do that session and I'm just always like, I was really anxious that I was going to get emotionally flooded and then not have an opportunity to recover before going into this.

[00:04:18] And the thought of being in that state just ramped up the anxiety, like coming in and having to do this live. Um, and thankfully I was able to, uh. The, the, the session went really well. I mean, we, we dug into some, um, really challenging stuff and, uh, I was practicing vulnerability in that, uh, in deeper ways and, and did get very emotionally flooded, but was able to come back out of that fairly quickly.

[00:04:56] And, and, and it was, and it had a good resolution to it too. So it helped overall, um, get me back up into a green state. So, um, yeah, I'm, I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling productive. I'm excited about things that, um, we have coming up. Yeah, we're recording episodes, but I've also been working on a lot behind the scenes to, um, relaunch the program that I did a beta test of.

[00:05:25] Um, we, we did, uh, it was called Beyond the Mind and um, got really great feedback from that. Um, really good testimonials. And so I'm taking that and kind of expanding it and gonna be launching that in the, the next week or two, which is gonna be a lot of fun. So I'm excited about that. Um, but still a lot. So you've got a lot going on.

[00:05:46] I've got a lot going on. We're trying to record and edit. I think we're going to, what we decided is we're going to move to every other week for now. Um, 'cause the other thing too is doing every week, especially getting audio responses from the community, I think was a bit much at this point. So we're gonna try every other week and we can definitely commit to that through at least the end of the year and see if, if we can ramp it back up or we need to keep it at that sort of steady pace.

[00:06:13] So. Dude, we're just practicing, uh, managing our energy and, uh, and being honest with ourselves about, about what we can and can't take on. Um,

[00:06:26] Cody: Sadly after the fact though,

[00:06:27] Josiah: Right?

[00:06:28] right. Exactly.

[00:06:30] Cody: one of these days we'll get good at doing it before we say yes to things.

[00:06:33] Josiah: Yeah.

[00:06:33] That would be nice. Or at least proactively communicating about it.

[00:06:38] Cody: yeah, yeah, for sure.

[00:06:42] Josiah: All right.

[00:06:43] Current

[00:06:44] curiosities. What is something you've been researching lately?

[00:06:49] Cody: I've been, I've been trying to rack my brain about this, um, this segment all day today because I feel like there's nothing, I feel like, like it's fairly boring in the sense that like my current, like things I've been researching are pretty similar to the last live episode we did. Like I've been, but mainly because I've been really too busy to think about it.

[00:07:13] Like if I'm, if I, if I had to pick something that was like. I don't know, like not if I had to pick something that's not music related, engineering related chat, chat, GPT related or podcast related, which takes up the majority of my time, I would say. Um, I've been, I do a lot of like, uh, researching into ways to, uh, CR create, um,

[00:07:43] really

[00:07:43] refined, um, processes for building load outs for Call of Duty.

[00:07:51] Josiah: What does

[00:07:51] that mean?

[00:07:53] Cody: Well, so there is apps built around this already, and I'm like load outs in terms of like what guns you use and what perks you use and like, you know, the ways to be better because, um, and I just watch a lot of like live streams on that kind of thing and people, you know.

[00:08:12] playing

[00:08:13] and playing better than me and learning their, learning, their, um, their moves.

[00:08:17] I did get complimented. I was playing with one of my friends last night or a few nights ago, and he had died and he was watching me and I was like doing this little maneuver where I was running in and out of windows behind people and killing them. And he was like, that was a good move. And I was like, I learned that from the live streamers that are better than me. Um, but yeah, I don't really have a lot of time for researching random and going down like random rabbit holes lately. Like that's, that's honestly a problem. Um, but yeah, I just haven't had the time. So like my answer's really boring for this segment. I don't know what else to say. I literally went through my searches trying to figure out what it's, that I've been researching and couldn't really think of anything I haven't looked at.

[00:08:59] Chad CPT though that has actually lately has been my, uh.

[00:09:04] Josiah: you,

[00:09:04] you just reminded me though of this meme that I saw the other day, which was, uh, a guy saying that he was hanging out with his nephew and all his nephew does is watch

[00:09:15] Videos of

[00:09:15] other people playing video games. And so he said to his nephew, why don't you just actually play video games yourself instead of watching videos about it?

[00:09:26] And his nephew said, well, you watch people play football all the time. Why don't you go play football instead of watching?

[00:09:35] And it

[00:09:35] just remind, it reminded me of that.

[00:09:37] Cody: Yeah, I mean, I kind of get it. I mean, um, I, I'm kind of like that with sports actually. 'cause like I really only watched the sports that I've, it played at some point in my life, I guess. 'cause I've played soccer when I was a kid. I played football when I was a kid. And I watch football every once in a while.

[00:09:54] Definitely watch soccer. Um, but.

[00:09:57] Josiah: but you don't play any of those sports anymore.

[00:09:59] Cody: No, but

[00:10:00] I enjoy them because I played them. Yeah. I think I enjoy watching them because I have, and um, or because of some emotional attachment to it. I don't, I don't get how people watch live streamers without playing like, 'cause I watch them and then go, oh, I bet I could do that.

[00:10:14] Or like, I wanna try to learn how to do that. Like, I don't, I don't watch just for entertainment's

[00:10:18] Josiah: Yeah. It's, it's a thing from what I understand. I think, I think we're too old. I think we're too old for it to be appealing at this point.

[00:10:25] Cody: Yeah. Maybe. I mean, I know people that are my age that do it, like, yeah. Like they just watch live streamers all the

[00:10:31] Josiah: I thought it was just like a Gen Z thing.

[00:10:33] Cody: I

[00:10:33] should be watching live streamers because I like live streaming, so I should watch probably more live streamers to see how people do it.

[00:10:39] Um, but, uh, yeah, and, and then like, uh, I just don't, but I don't, again, I don't have the time. I don't know if I, a lot of my, a lot of my time that I would spend researching and learning things lately has been like given to like doom scrolling or just playing games on my phone to zone out because I'm so tired.

[00:11:00] And to be fair, I mean I went on, I went on a trip for a week to see my parents and like down in Florida and like before that we went on a different trip for Madison's birthday. And like between that, we've also been buying a house and going through all of that process of buying a house. We saw over 22 houses.

[00:11:17] So if there's anything I've

[00:11:19] learned it out on lately, it's um, what to look out for in houses,

[00:11:24] Josiah: Yeah.

[00:11:24] Cody: know,

[00:11:25] looking for red flags in houses. That's definitely something I learned. I had a crash course on looking at 22 houses. Um,

[00:11:31] Josiah: you also go through the process of like researching, just being a first time home buyer and that whole process of buying a house for the first time?

[00:11:40] Cody: Um, no,

[00:11:43] Josiah: Did Madison do that? I guess because she was telling me about it.

[00:11:46] Cody: Yeah, she did it more, um, more than I did because I just, I didn't have the mental capacity to do it honestly. Um, so she just has been like the person who's like learning all the things and then just running things by me to see what I wanna do, and I'm like, you know, A or B, whatever, X, Y and Z, I'm good with it.

[00:12:03] And then we move on. And so, um, yeah, I haven't really been. Like, usually I would've been the one to take control and be like, what are all the best options? But honestly, it moves so fast, you can't really do that. Um, and like once you find a house you want, you can't like sit down and be like, what's like, it's so hard to take the time to be like, what's the best home insurance to get?

[00:12:24] Like what's, you know, all these different, like, you know, well then if we bundle all the insurances then we can, maybe we get a better rate on this place and change all of our car insurance, blah, blah, blah. She's been doing that. I normally would do that, but I would get probably paralyzed in that process and take way too long.

[00:12:38] And she's a little bit better about just like figuring out like, all right, this seems like the best wine and just pull the trigger on it. And so,

[00:12:46] um,

[00:12:47] it's probably good that I haven't been that involved in that process. I've been probably more involved lately in the last two days with researching really creative and cheap ways to soundproof a room because the next space I have will actually be.

[00:13:03] Customize to podcasting and recording and be mine so I can do whatever I want with it. And so I've been looking at like soundproofing blankets to drape on the ceiling, which you gave me that idea. And I was like, that's a grid. That, that is probably the best idea in terms of, you know,

[00:13:17] cost

[00:13:17] effectness. Um, but you know, just things like that.

[00:13:20] I've been just like thinking about that space a lot and what I'm gonna do with it because it's, it's not completely ideal. Not in the, not in the beginning. We're gonna have to, like, I'm gonna have to work with it a while. So like, that'll be something that I definitely am researching more as time goes on, probably, and especially once we get in there.

[00:13:36] So that'll be, that'll be a whole thing. But this is probably the last episode I do in this space that I've had now for two years. So it's, it's a big change. We'll see.

[00:13:49] That's pretty

[00:13:49] much it though. 

[00:13:50] Josiah: yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm excited because we'll have a, a quasi legit studio for recording.

[00:13:58] Cody: Yeah, ideally the kind of space where we can turn, flip the switch and turn everything on and start recording and not have to set up every single time and make it like this multi-purpose space that I'm working with now. That's honestly is a huge, uh, point of friction I think for why we don't put out more episodes because I've gotten the editing down to a pretty good science at this point, so it's not the editing that slows us down, it's usually the recording.

[00:14:20] Josiah: Yep. Yeah, I agree. Well, before I, I, before I jump into this, uh, anybody watching right now, throw in the comments, what's something that you've been researching lately? I'm really curious to hear from the community. 'cause I know we have widely varied interests, um, of rabbit holes that we go down.

[00:14:41] Cody: That's true. Yeah.

[00:14:42] Josiah: Um,

[00:14:43] for mine, I was really debating on this because

[00:14:49] I

[00:14:49] don't want to go like too nerdy, technical,

[00:14:53] but

[00:14:54] it's something that I've,

[00:14:56] I've

[00:14:56] just been like mini obsessed over the last week.

[00:15:02] And, uh, to set the context on this. Um, yes, it's Bitcoin related, but, uh,

[00:15:11] which, which by

[00:15:12] the way, I feel very, uh, vindicated from, uh, the episode that we did because I think at that point it was like, it was still kind of unknown where it was going, and the price was at like 27,000, and now we're at like 120 something thousand.

[00:15:28] Um, and, uh, it's basically being used to completely restructure the whole global financial system at this point. Um, or, or will be in the coming years anyway, so Jack Dorsey, who, um, obviously was a, uh, the co-founder of Twitter and, uh, he

[00:15:53] he like vibe coded, which if you don't know what that, what that means, basically you prompt AI to code stuff for you and it's like this whole thing that's.

[00:16:02] Popped up over the last year, um, and people call it vibe coding, and it's a really great way to, without a ton of technical expertise, be able to spin up prototypes of apps. And, uh, and so he vibe coded a, um, it's called Bit Chat. It's a, it's a Bluetooth mesh messaging device or MES messaging app. So basically it doesn't require internet.

[00:16:30] And I haven't, I haven't actually, I only saw demos of it, so I haven't dug into how it actually works. Um, but, but my understanding of it is basically your phone becomes like a relay so that anyone in the vicinity can tap into the network and just transmit messages, uh, without wifi. Um 

[00:16:48] Cody: hmm. 

[00:16:48] Josiah: It kind of, it kind of reminds me of like the IRC, like internet relay chat, like way back in the day.

[00:16:54] Um, it's really cool. But there was another dev, um, that then on top of that built, uh, like a built in, um, what's called a cashew wallet. And, and so I sent this where you could basically, um, send Bitcoin back and forth without the internet. And, and so I sent that the demo to my brother and he was asking me questions about it.

[00:17:20] I'm like, I don't actually know how this works. And then I went down this huge rabbit trail and 'cause it's, it's like, it's really cool, but it's very, it's very technical. Um, but it's really cool how it works because, you know, bitcoin's great for a certain set of use cases, but not so great for some other use cases.

[00:17:40] Um, one of the things is, you know, it's Bitcoin's a public ledger, so you see every transaction, um, and there's a. You know, it's, anyone can spin up a wallet and, and so there's a, a degree of anonymity to it anon Anonymity. Anonymity. Nope, that's not

[00:17:58] Cody: anonymity.

[00:17:59] Josiah: There you go. Uh, this is like, what was that episode that we did where I did that for like,

[00:18:05] Cody: Oh yeah.

[00:18:06] Josiah: I can't remember what the word

[00:18:07] Cody: What might have been that word?

[00:18:10] Josiah: Uh, and, but, but there's still, like, you know, if you signed up on an exchange where they KYC and you have to put in your information, there's, there's still a, a pretty good chance that, you know, people could trace your transactions. And so, um, there, the way that cash, so cashew is what's called, uh, is a, is a version of, of ash, which has been around for a while.

[00:18:36] Um, and it's based on this technology developed in the eighties.

[00:18:41] called

[00:18:42] blind signatures. I know this is very technical, but I'll explain how, how this works where, um, essentially you have, because there's, there's a problem of, of transporting like, um, cash without double spending in like, in a digital form.

[00:19:01] And, um, and that's one, one thing that Bitcoin solves in, in a set of use cases. But, uh, what's cool about this like is that it's, it's like a digital form of, of cash. And, and so in the same way that you can take cash out of the bank, carry it around, hand it to people, no one knows like where that cash is going, who's had the cash before?

[00:19:30] Um, and, but then you can take it back to the bank and the bank will put it into your account. And so it works this way, but the way that it solves it is just really clever. Um, where the, there are these mints that act like, um, basically like a bank that anybody can spin up and, and it will do a blind signature on a, an encrypted piece of, of data.

[00:19:54] So it doesn't know like who's, who's sending it or, or, um, how much is in like any of the transaction details. But, but it still verifies yes, this came from my mint and, um, and so you can verify that piece of it basically. And so I can, so I can put in some, like deposit some Bitcoin, get some ash tokens, hand 'em to someone else, and they're basically just like a, a string of text.

[00:20:21] They can verify that it's, you know, what the amount and stuff is. But um, then, then they can turn that back in. And get, and get. So you, it's like this really cool way of where doing it this way you can transmit Bitcoin without anyone knowing who it's going from. Because what happens is you put, you, you like, um, redeem your ash tokens.

[00:20:43] The mint then transfers the, the Bitcoin to the other person's mint, and then they re redeem ash tokens. And everyone's probably bored at this point, but for me, I was like totally nerding out on this and super excited because it was so cool.

[00:20:59] Cody: Yeah, I am gonna be honest, I stopped listening about seven minutes ago.

[00:21:03] I was just letting you go and hoping that somebody is interested in it, but I'm, I don't think I am at all, actually,

[00:21:10] Josiah: I

[00:21:11] Cody: not something I get excited about. I.

[00:21:12] Josiah: no, I, I am,

[00:21:15] you know, I am, the thing that I'm most excited about is the separation of money and state.

[00:21:22] and,

[00:21:23] you know, as a, as a quasi anarchist, like, I want those, I want that power separated. And, uh, and this is just another really cool way to solve some of those problems that still exist, um, even, even in a world with, with Bitcoin, uh, which is a money that is completely separated from the state that no one can control.

[00:21:43] Um, and so that's why I was, I was nerding on it, but I was hesitant to go into it because I could see your face just glazing over, like as soon as I started talking about it.

[00:21:54] Cody: Well, I, I, I'll be honest, I'll be honest too, I have a, I think at this point I have a little bit of a negative feeling about, about it only because of, I, I am, part of me is excited about the change and part of me is excited about the progress. Um, don't know what other problems will arise because of it that we can't foresee yet.

[00:22:16] But the one thing that I think is like,

[00:22:19] I,

[00:22:19] I'm excited about the progress. I'm not, I don't like how we, what it took to get here.

[00:22:26] Like, I

[00:22:26] don't, you know what I mean? Like, I don't like that Trump is the one that's like the main proponent for all of this happening, because that isn't the way that I would want it to happen.

[00:22:35] Josiah: Yeah. I mean the, the reality is like, it, it gets the, it gets associated a lot these days just recently with a specific political party. Political figure.

[00:22:47] Cody: Yeah. The Bitcoin bros,

[00:22:49] Josiah: the, the reality is it's very, very diverse in the, the types of people, um, like they, they, like, if you look at the data, it's actually, um, slightly more left-leaning than right-leaning.

[00:22:59] Um, and, uh, you've got people like the Human Rights Foundation who are using it, um, to help send money to people in like, um, author, author, authoritarian regimes. That, you know, we're there basically trapped because the government has complete control. Um, and they have no way to get wealth in or out. And, um, and so when you, like tho those are the kinds of stories that I'm really excited about, um, you know, because basically like a big middle finger to, to uh, to empire, you know?

[00:23:36] Cody: Yeah, definitely. Which I am obviously for. Um,

[00:23:40] yeah.

[00:23:41] no, I mean, it's, it's an exciting idea, an exciting concept. I'm also probably a little less engaged because I don't have, you're invested in it, and I'm not like, literally and figuratively, you know what I mean? Like, I would probably learn a lot more about it if I had, uh, investment into it.

[00:23:57] Um, but yeah, I'm just not there yet.

[00:24:01] Josiah: I get it. I get it. Um, okay, so moving on, for anyone who's still listening at this point, uh,

[00:24:10] Let's

[00:24:10] talk about this idea. That, uh, fives think they're smarter than everyone else. Is that true? What's your take?

[00:24:22] Cody: Um, yeah,

[00:24:24] no, uh, I, I think that I have to constantly, I know that I'm not like logically,

[00:24:32] you

[00:24:32] know, I know that I'm not smarter than everyone, but most days I feel like I am. And so, like, it makes it more difficult. Um, and I think it's honestly because of, I've been watching a lot in the community lately about people talking about pattern recognition and how five seem to be just like.

[00:24:48] Natural experts at that, like just naturally good at pattern recognition. And I think pattern recognition oftentimes puts us steps ahead of most other people in, and a lot of like, so social situations, uh, like, you know, work situations, home, sit, like you see people's that you can see. I, I can so easily see the results of people's decisions steps ahead of steps ahead of them doing it.

[00:25:12] You know what I mean? Like one, one person's fork in the road is like my ability to see like, oh, you actually are gonna be, this is your destination if you keep doing these things. And so, like, I think I've talked in the past about like how, um, how people, you know, throughout my life, people have often come to me as like the wise friend who has all this advice that they never listened to and it frustrates me, right?

[00:25:35] But like, they do that because they, and they always say like. Things that I say that happen oftentimes come true and you know enough times that people think that I'm right a lot of the time and um, but they still don't listen and it aggravates the shit outta me. But, um, in those situations it's really easy to feel like I'm smarter than everyone because, um, because it does feel like I have information I'm privy to.

[00:26:01] A certain like, set of information that other people don't seem to have and or skill sets that other people don't seem to have. And, but it's obviously just context. It's, it's all con contextually dependent on that, in that, in that way it's relative, right? And so like ob and, and I also appreciate as a five appreciate experts in things and like people who have spent their life dedicated to specific topics and stuff like that.

[00:26:25] And um, and I think because also because too, I feel like I'm kind of like a jack of all trades, master of none in so many ways because of how many jobs I've had in my life, how many random, you know, tidbits of skills and whatever I've picked up along the way. I know, I know so much about so many things.

[00:26:45] But only to an extent, only to enough to like have a conversation about it or like know some steps. Right. Um, but yeah, I mean, it's easy to, I think it's easy to feel that it's easy to, to, um, buy into that myth and make it feel like it's not so much a myth. Um, I find that it's better for me personally to fight against that notion.

[00:27:07] Um, 'cause it keeps me, um, it's the only way that I find humility.

[00:27:14] Um, you know what I mean? Like, it helps that process because it like puts me in my place and I, I actually usually really enjoy the situations where it like, proves to me that I don't know everything that somebody knows more than me. I like those things.

[00:27:28] I like to learn those. I like to learn what I don't know, if that makes sense. Um, like obviously we like to learn what we don't know. That's a, that generally that's a stupid statement, but like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's, um.

[00:27:43] Josiah: Not everybody likes to learn what they don't know. I mean,

[00:27:46] Cody: Well, I mean, like in a general sense, if you're learning something, it's because you don't know it. Um, but like, I like to know like the areas of, of life or knowledge or skills that I, if the, the, if I know them, then I can work on them. So like, it's the, the process of self-awareness is, is, um, is overall, uh, it's, it's more positive when you're realistic about what you don't know.

[00:28:09] Um, uh, if you, if you're not, then you're just constantly hitting. I feel like the beginning stages of me being more self-aware and trying to, and being more self-aware for the pro, the process of growth and not for the process of just knowing myself versus others and putting myself into different categories or whatever.

[00:28:27] I think that, that has, I mean, that's a productive process. And in the beginning it does kind of feel like blow after blow because you're having to break down your ego. And like, we obviously do that as human beings constantly, if we're doing it right. Um. But, uh, I think that that's, it's an easy, it's an easy myth to believe in.

[00:28:47] It really is, because I think it's, I bet it's more common. I think that's definitely a, a stereotypical five thing.

[00:28:54] Josiah: Yeah, so I think there's, there's layers to this, um, because when people say, you know, fives think they're smarter than everyone else, basically what they're saying is that fives are arrogant. Um, and I think that they're one, one aspect of this is that because our core fear is, you know, being seen as incompetent, we look for ways to try to display our competence wherever we can.

[00:29:20] Um, and then that can come across as like arrogant or know it all, or, you know, constantly correcting people. And, um, so that, that's, that's one aspect of it. Um, on the, the other side, like there really is a tension between,

[00:29:40] I

[00:29:41] I don't feel smart. I.

[00:29:44] but a

[00:29:44] lot of the time I feel like everyone else is stupid.

[00:29:47] Cody: Yeah.

[00:29:47] Josiah: You know what I mean? Like, not everyone else, but like a lot of people. And, and it's, and I think that, I think it comes, uh, it, it comes down to what I, I feel like is the difference between intellect and intelligence.

[00:30:04] and,

[00:30:05] um,

[00:30:06] Cody: Okay.

[00:30:06] Josiah: and so, and I actually, I've been thinking about this. I wanna do, I wanna do a full episode on the, this idea, the difference between intellect and intelligent, but like, high level, um,

[00:30:18] intellect is

[00:30:19] one, just one of your tools kind of in your intelligence, uh, toolkit.

[00:30:25] And it's the ability to dissect things, to take them apart, to analyze them, um, and find the patterns like you were talking about. Um, and, and so that can be, it's a very useful tool, but if you mistake. Solely as intelligence. Um, you, you miss out on all the other forms of intelligence. Um, and it can leave you really blindsided, which is why a lot of us as fives are very socially inept.

[00:30:56] Um, because just because we have a strong intellect doesn't mean that we can, that we're automatically successful because a lot of success comes to down to like emotional intelligence and um, and, you know, different, different paths also require like, like body intelligence and, um, being in tune with your body and being really coordinated and that like, there's just all these different, um, uh, types of intelligence and, and so if we overuse that, uh, that one tool of intellect, um, not only can we come across as, as arrogant or know it all, um, but I think also it will dull over time.

[00:31:39] Um.

[00:31:41] So

[00:31:41] that's, that's my hot take is we're, uh, we're, we don't actually think we're smarter than everyone else. Um, we just can over rely on our intellect.

[00:31:51] Cody: Yeah, for sure. I think that's, and maybe that's why I feel like I feel more like I am. Doing that less these days, because I definitely feel like I'm leaning a lot more into, um, my emotions and my emotional instincts and trying to follow those rather than trying to reason my way out of every, like, relational or, you know, emotional circumstance in my life.

[00:32:17] Um, and yeah, I've definitely been trying to like kinda,

[00:32:24] I don't know, not dull, but like tamp down my, like my analytical side, like trying not to, I'm trying really hard lately to

[00:32:36] Josiah: Integrate it. We'll say integrate it.

[00:32:39] Cody: yeah.

[00:32:40] Josiah: integrate into the rest of you? Yeah.

[00:32:41] Cody: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm not, yeah, I'm trying not to lean one side more than the other. It's like trying to, yeah.

[00:32:47] Trying to integrate, trying to have a balanced, um, way of approaching with figuring out what it looks like to have, like, you know, your head and your heart in the, in the same direction and the same, like working together rather than against each other. Um, which I feel like so often happens for me because I do.

[00:33:04] At least historically, um, hate emotion and don't want to listen to my heart and my gut in that way. Um, and you know, it's funny, like when we were talking so much and, and then when I say we, I mean all of us in the community having this conversation about like what a gut feeling is and like, 'cause I feel like that was like a big conversation after our like intuition to conversations and stuff like that.

[00:33:27] Like what is intuition? What does that look like? Like, and if intuition is the head and the heart coming together, then you can't discredit the emotional, you know, aspect of, of, of your instincts, right? And so, um, that's definitely something I've been working on a lot lately about like really trying to focus on one, what am I feeling about a situation, but also what does that tell me?

[00:33:49] And like, what kind of decision should I make based on that? Like, uh, I mean, going back to the house hunting thing, like a lot of that was just gut feeling when I walked into a place and I had a gut feeling. That it wasn't right. I immediately walked out. There's no entertaining the idea. Um, you know, and that got to the point where like, at first we didn't do that, but then after like 12 to 15 houses, I was literally walking in and out of houses.

[00:34:11] I was like, yep, nope, this isn't it. And moving and walking out. And I didn't have to have an explanation for that. And I think that was sounds, sounds minuscule, but it's a, it's a big step for me because I used to have to have a reason and an answer for why I would say yes or no to things, or why I would have an opinion on something.

[00:34:29] And now it's, it's a little less about that in terms of just like the overall grand scheme of like situations. Obviously there's exceptions to that rule, but generally with like everyday things and life things, relational things, I've been trying to lean a lot more into the emotional side. So, uh, and because of that, I don't, I actually don't feel like I know everything all the time or that I know more than other people, um, because I don't, I'm not.

[00:34:57] I think a lot of it too is just judging, you know what I mean? Like just judging a situation from a, from the outside perspective, which I think we are good at as fives, but a lot of times we can rely solely on that. And one, it isolates you immediately, like you're going into a situation now separated from everybody else because they're lab rats and experiment, and you're just like looking to see what the outcomes are.

[00:35:19] Right. 

[00:35:20] Josiah: Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:21] Cody: don't get me wrong, that's a fun thing to do, but, um, but it's not necessarily healthy in the long run, so, yeah.

[00:35:29] Josiah: Yeah,

[00:35:30] I

[00:35:31] agree. All right. Should we do, what would you rather,

[00:35:36] Cody: Yeah.

[00:35:37] Josiah: okay. Uh,

[00:35:41] would you rather, I think I already know which one you're gonna choose. Uh, would you rather have to speak your thoughts out loud in real time all the time, or never be allowed to explain your reasoning for anything ever again?

[00:35:59] Cody: Which one do you think I'm gonna choose?

[00:36:00] Josiah: No, you gotta say it first.

[00:36:02] Cody: I

[00:36:03] then it's not fair. You could just, you could just say whichever. Um.

[00:36:07] Josiah: hold on. I'll write it down.

[00:36:09] Cody: Okay.

[00:36:11] Josiah: Where's my paper? Hold on.

[00:36:18] Cody: Just say A or B.

[00:36:19] Josiah: Yeah. Okay.

[00:36:21] I

[00:36:21] wrote it down.

[00:36:23] Cody: Um, I would rather, well, one, I'm gonna say this because I think I already operate this way because of autism,

[00:36:31] but

[00:36:31] I speak my mind in real time, for sure. Is gonna be the answer. Yeah.

[00:36:38] I

[00:36:38] mean, yeah, it's an easy answer. I feel like when you, when you, I, I, I don't, I, there's no way. As soon as I hear it, I know which one it is because.

[00:36:47] I

[00:36:47] already live with the repercussions of speaking my mind more often than I don't. And, uh, and yeah, it's caused problems, especially at jobs, um, especially with bosses. 'cause I just don't, I don't let bosses speak to me however they want. Like, it's like, you know, it's in some ways Yeah, sure. It's helped me protect myself and be defensive and, and stand, you know, stand up for myself in situations, but also it hurts a lot of feelings and is not necessarily the best way to, uh, you know, always work in conjunction with like a team and other employees and, you know, whatever.

[00:37:20] So

[00:37:22] I, but I don't, I've gotten better at it, but I, I pretty much do that. Like, I actually exist that way most of the time. Which you, you know, all too well.

[00:37:31] Josiah: Yeah, I do.

[00:37:34] Cody: What

[00:37:34] about you?

[00:37:36] Josiah: Uh,

[00:37:36] I'm gonna go with option B,

[00:37:38] Cody: Yeah, I

[00:37:38] figured.

[00:37:39] Josiah: and there's, there's two reasons. One, I, for me, I, I would feel so anxious all the time if I had to say my thoughts out loud in real time all the time. Um. And, uh, 'cause it just feels very vulnerable. Like I, I, I want that inner sanctuary, uh, to be able to kind of like, I mean, there's, there's a time and a place for that, but, but I also want the ability to be able to process things internally, uh, without feeling the need to have them polished or acceptable.

[00:38:17] Um, I guess there's something that you could, you could, that could be said for the getting to the point where you just, you don't, you don't care.

[00:38:23] Cody: Yeah.

[00:38:25] Josiah: uh, but it, it also would require a whole lot of like rigorous, um, uh, training to think in a way that doesn't just piss people off all the time if you want to actually not do that.

[00:38:39] Um, so I would choose the second one for that reason. And also because I think because I have a strong four wing, there's also something about, uh, that's a little bit alluring. About the mystery of never explaining my reasoning, um, where I can just, you know, have have thoughts and opinions or, or do certain things and I don't, like, I'm not allowed to explain it to anyone, so I don't ever have to explain it.

[00:39:03] So you can kind of like, you know, try to figure it out on your own and there's this sort of mystery to it.

[00:39:08] Cody: Yeah,

[00:39:09] Josiah: And that's appealing to me, I think with the, the four wing,

[00:39:12] Cody: that makes sense. That yeah, makes a lot of sense. And like you talking about, have feeling like a certain level of anxiety from obvious, having to say your thoughts out loud. And I'm like, that's my baseline.

[00:39:24] So

[00:39:24] Josiah: but also also it's not just the Wing, it's that I'm a, I'm a social five and so I am, I'm constantly like assessing the social landscape, figuring out like what the rules are, how to like, where I want to position myself in that and how to get there and like, um, and that I feel like having to speak my thoughts out loud in real time would be a, a real handicap in that game.

[00:39:50] Cody: Yeah. Well, and you know, self, self preservation is my primary. Um, like, uh, what is it called? Just left my brain stacking, I guess, instinct. Yeah. Um, and I think that definitely has a part to play in the fact that it's almost like if I were to have to say all of my thoughts all of the time, it kind of takes away the, it takes away the option to have to assess the social landscape and 'cause it kind of makes it pretty easy.

[00:40:19] It's very black and white people who like it, like it, and then people who don't, they don't, all right. Like, right. So I just think that, um, I'm not necessarily saying that I would choose the speak your thoughts out loud in real time, always a hundred percent of the time. I would prefer the other one. But I know myself and I know that. Not being able to explain my reasoning would probably make me jump off a bridge. So like, I think that it, I don't think I could do the other one. Like there's things that I do, obviously we do both, right? Like

[00:40:50] we do both in different situations. Um, but yeah, it's, uh, neither one is ideal obviously. Hence the, would you rather,

[00:41:01] Josiah: Agreed. Okay.

[00:41:03] Last segment here.

[00:41:05] Growth

[00:41:06] versus comfort. Where, what's an area where you've really leaned into growth lately? And, um, what's another area where you've, you're still kind of sitting in comfort?

[00:41:19] Cody: um, I think the, the, the real one, like the serious one I probably already touched on, which I think is emotional vulnerability is something that I've definitely been really trying to lean into and, and grow from. Because I've seen the damage that it causes for me and others when I don't do that. And, um, and it's hard to

[00:41:42] get,

[00:41:42] be like, it's hard to connect with other people and then stay connected to other people if I don't do those things right.

[00:41:47] So, and, and the older I get, the more important it is to me to, to have that in my life. And, and the more important I see that it is for me to be healthy. Um, but um, outside of that, I've been really trying to, I've been really trying to, um,

[00:42:09] take more

[00:42:09] time for myself just to have something that is like actually like,

[00:42:16] Um,

[00:42:17] what, what is, is de stimulating a word

[00:42:22] Josiah: Um,

[00:42:22] Cody: You get what I'm saying?

[00:42:23] Josiah: sure we'll go with

[00:42:24] Cody: accept it for this. Yeah. Um, that's like.

[00:42:28] takes because I, I get really overstimulated very easily. Um, and when I do, I tend to just generally perform as a human very poorly. So, um, I can get really a aggravated and really angry or really upset, really exhausted, stressed, my anxiety goes through the roof.

[00:42:49] It's just, it's awful. And I've started to identify those triggers and those things in my life that caused that. But then also like being able to identify it as it starts to happen and not when it's too late and I'm snapping at people and not being nice. Um. And like I've always been the kind of person who loves to read, but I don't ever read like I, like I should.

[00:43:10] So like, one thing I've been trying to like ad adapt the practice of reading more consistently. So that just because of how it makes me feel, it makes me feel, it's like I bring, I, I reset my baseline for the day. And so I've been trying to do that where even just like 20 minutes of reading it like makes such a huge difference, um, for me.

[00:43:30] So that's something I've definitely been trying to lean into. Um, comfort wise,

[00:43:38] um,

[00:43:41] Josiah: Or maybe an area, an area of growth that you're still aware of that probably need to address at some point?

[00:43:50] Cody: Um, pretty

[00:43:52] much constantly is the, the, the physical, trying to be in better shape, trying to be more disciplined, trying to eat all the right things and,

[00:44:03] you

[00:44:03] know, all of that is definitely something that is, that's a good growth versus comfort thing. 'cause food is definitely a comfort for me, and I easily stress eat.

[00:44:13] And so trying to break myself of that habit has been incredibly challenging. And it's like there's no point in exercising if you're not gonna do the diet aspect of it. Right. So it's knowing that I'm spinning my wheels.

[00:44:26] Josiah: and that's not entirely true, but, but yeah, there's, 

[00:44:29] Cody: You don't, you don't make any, you don't make much progress. I have had stents of, of exercising in the past where I didn't address the diet aspect of it, and it didn't lose any weight. I didn't get any better. Like, you know, it's, it's a lot. You just slow the pro you, you, you're, it's like trying to run with like 30 pound weights on your ankles.

[00:44:47] Like, it's like, why do that? You know, why drag yourself down. Sure. You might make some progress, but, um, and if there's anything that I hate, it's inefficiency. So, um, I, I wanna be efficient and if I'm gonna be efficient, I have to tackle all of those things at once. And, um, it's very uncomfortable. I don't like it.

[00:45:06] And so I'm a self-preservation person. I love my comforts. I love the things that make me feel, um, you know, warm and cozy on the inside. And sometimes that's potatoes and I can't eat potatoes.

[00:45:21] so,

[00:45:22] yeah.

[00:45:23] Josiah: Yeah. Uh, yeah,

[00:45:26] So a big thing for me for growth, um, actually is, is the fitness side.

[00:45:34] Um,

[00:45:36] you know, so for everyone, just so everyone knows, uh, Cody and I have been going to the gym together

[00:45:43] Cody: Mm-hmm.

[00:45:44] Josiah: twice a week. Um, and

[00:45:48] at,

[00:45:49] at least I've been going twice a week.

[00:45:52] Cody: I was waiting on it. That was the goal. Life happens.

[00:45:56] Josiah: Life

[00:45:56] happens and I had to buy Cody an alarm clock because, uh, he kept oversleeping.

[00:46:01] Cody: Okay. Uh, that happened twice.

[00:46:06] And

[00:46:06] it was a, it wasn't a real alarm clock, it was a cartoon alarm clock. It was one of those old ones that no one's ever going to use. If I used that alarm clock, I would, you would see me, I would walk in the gym angry. Like that thing would be so loud. I would be in a bad mood the rest of the day.

[00:46:21] It'd be way too

[00:46:22] Josiah: uh, but the, the goal that we set out was like, you know, for the first, I dunno, two or three months, the goal is just to show up. Like, we're not trying to make massive gains. We're not trying to, you know, hit any numbers. It's just we wanna show up, you know, at, you know, put some effort in, some degree of effort in depending on how we're feeling and just build that habit.

[00:46:45] Um, and, and we have been, and, and so for, and me, that's a huge deal because before when I would try to do this, I would. Uh, I would go too hard, too fast, and, and, and I would hate the way I felt after, and it would actually, you know, it would start to degrade where I would just, going to the gym consistently would make me feel like garbage.

[00:47:09] Um, and, and so I wasn't, I wasn't listening to my body. I wasn't, um, I wasn't being smart about it at all. And so that's why with this, I'm like, I just, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go real slow and just focus on building the habit of going and overcoming that resistance and making it where that's second nature to where I can just get up and go to the gym.

[00:47:32] Um, what I didn't expect was that I. Actually have seen gains. And it's not just like the, you know, yes, it's an increase in numbers. Like I've, um, all the lifts we were doing, I've, uh, I've increased by at least 30 or 40 pounds without even trying. Um, but it's, it's the way that it feels to me. And so one of the things, I, I put this in the newsletter a little while back.

[00:48:02] Um, one of the things that shifted was before we even started doing this, I had to shift my identity, um, from, I hate working out and like, I'm not the type of person to go to the gym. Um, that's the identity that I've always had. And so I

[00:48:16] Cody: we all know it because you've talked about it in episodes

[00:48:19] Josiah: right all the time, right? And so I shifted that to I am an athlete.

[00:48:25] um, and I would do like, you know, meditation and self-hypnosis and things like around, like I am an athlete. And when, when I would get into the gym and I would go to do something that did not, you know, feel comfortable, I, and I would start, I would ha I would catch myself. I, I, um, I would start to have that thought of like, oh, this feels terrible.

[00:48:47] I hate this. And I would catch myself and say,

[00:48:52] this doesn't feel great, but I'm an athlete and this is what athletes do. And it was so weird. It's like it switched this flip, it flipped the switch in my brain where I, I started to en engage with my body more through this process. And, uh, last week we hit, uh, I, I, I hit, uh, a hundred pounds on the bench press.

[00:49:21] For the first time, like in my life, which sound might sound pathetic to some people, but for me it was a big deal. Right? And, but it wasn't just that I hit that number, it was, I, you know, I adjusted the weight and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try this. And then it was, it was so weird. It was like, I, I pushed and it was like the first time I really felt the weight, like felt my body and I pushed through it and like, in like, with strength and I was like, oh my God, this, this feels really good.

[00:49:54] And then I did like two sets, uh, at that weight and I was like, it,

[00:49:59] it, I don't know, it's hard to put into words still for me at this point, but it's like I am, I am, I'm connecting with my body in a way that I've never done before. Um, and, and, and I'm starting to understand that shift of, you know, I, I'm an athlete.

[00:50:18] And, and, and, and I'm getting stronger. And it's like, it, it changes my whole relationship with my body. Whereas like before my body was something that felt like it was always dragging me down where like, I've noticed myself, 'cause I've, I've been doing this and I, I've also been doing rope flow, which I put in the, the newsletter last week.

[00:50:35] Um, and, and, and just those things, like I'm noticing like my mobility is different. Um, I'm actually like looking for excuses to move more versus before it's like any excuse I could have to not move and, and all this stuff is just kind of coming naturally just based on these small incremental changes over time.

[00:50:56] Um, and putting in the effort like a little bit over time. Um, and so they're not like these huge, huge shifts. It's just all these little ones that are just kind of building up. Um, and so I'm really, I'm really excited about that because I've never been in this place, like in my whole life.

[00:51:12] Cody: Yeah.

[00:51:13] Josiah: You

[00:51:13] know, I'm curious to see how the next, how the rest of the year goes.

[00:51:16] Uh, but as of right now, I'm, I am, I'm really enjoying it. And, and it is weird for me to say, I'm actually like looking forward to going to the gym like tomorrow my parents are in town and, um, we're gonna meet up with 'em in the morning, and that's normally the day we go. We would go to the gym and I realize that.

[00:51:30] I'm like, oh man, maybe I can get a, a session in the afternoon. I'm like, what? Who am I? Like, this just never me.

[00:51:38] Cody: Yeah, for sure.

[00:51:39] Josiah: But I had to, I had to change that, that like what that relationship between me and, and my body, and my mind and my body and, and, and start to integrate those together. Um, and, and realizing that like my body is the, is the thing that actually allows me to experience things, you know, like, you know, and, and, and not just think about things.

[00:52:01] Uh, and, and so I'm just, I'm finding different avenues to do that now. And, and, and it's, it's exciting.

[00:52:08] Cody: Yeah, for sure. Well, and like, you know, it's, I think it's, uh, well, two things I wanna say about what you just said. One thing is, um, I feel the same way about like, the idea of like, calling yourself an athlete is very similar. I feel like it's like when people come to me and they're like, you know, wow, I, it is so crazy that you play music.

[00:52:28] Like, I could never do that. I'm not a musician. And I'm like, it's just practice. Like anybody could be a musician if you just practice. Like, and like, does it come easier to some people than others? Sure. But it doesn't mean that you can't do it. It just means, you know, it might be easy for you, it might not be.

[00:52:43] Um, and I think a athleticism exactly the same way, right? Like, it comes, it does not come easy for me. Um,

[00:52:51] Um, and

[00:52:51] my body is not necessarily. The type of body that like easily sheds fat and like easily gets in shape and builds endurance. Whereas like my brother, it's very in his genes to be like he, I took after my mom's side, my dad, my brother takes after my dad's side.

[00:53:08] Um, and you know, there's just a certain level of athleticism. It just comes so easy for him and because his body's just built completely different than mine. And so I, you know, I think it's, uh, but that doesn't mean that I can't do it and that I shouldn't, because obviously I should, it just might be less a.

[00:53:27] The progress is slower, but you know, you, you can still get there. It just takes practice. And so like, I think it's, it's such a similar thing. It's like nothing. There's nothing special about it. It's just putting in the work, you know? That's how I feel about musicians. People come up to me, like, and you know, any, and maybe it's my way of like ing compliments, I don't know, but I'm always like, I mean, you could do what I do.

[00:53:48] It just, you know, I've been doing it my entire life. Honestly, I think I should be a lot better considering how long I've been playing. Um, but, you know, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's just about putting in the effort and I honestly, I think that's, that's where. I, maybe it's a five thing, maybe it's just an US thing, but like, I feel the same way in the sense that it's like putting in the work and, and wanting to do that because

[00:54:11] I just don't like being reminded that I have a body that isn't doing, isn't capable of what I want it to be doing.

[00:54:17] Like y yesterday I went to a birthday party that was at a jump park and I jumped, it's not a jump park, it's more of like a big room with a massive trampoline. Like it's, you know, like the jump park that we've done for your kids in the past, like that one has all the obstacles and the big foam pits and stuff like that.

[00:54:33] This one is literally just a room of, you know, bouncy like trampolines and the walls of trampolines and they have like a basketball net in there that you could try to shoot at. It's like very basic. Um, but. I was literally trying to run from one side to the other and bounce off the walls. Um, I got my elbow, you can see.

[00:54:56] Hang on. Yeah, I see that little spot. Yeah, that doesn't feel great. Um, and it's right where I put my elbow on everything. Um, but, uh, yeah, I was very acutely aware of how, uh, where my body is lacking. I'll say that. Like I have a muscle in my stomach on my side that I kept thinking it was like a cramp or something.

[00:55:17] And I realized it's literally just a pulled muscle that is like not in good shape. It's, it's hurting. Um,

[00:55:25] Josiah: parks

[00:55:26] will wreck you like.

[00:55:27] Cody: and it's like, and all I could think about was like, how did we do this for hours as kids in the summer?

[00:55:32] Josiah: don't know.

[00:55:33] Cody: Like doing backflips and shit. Like IDI literally, I was like, it's crazy. You get on, I get on and as soon as I start jumping, I'm like, oh, I remember this as a kid.

[00:55:41] It's so great. And about 30 seconds later you are like, whew, this is really hard. And about a minute in I was like, I'm, I'm at 180 B uh, beat per minute. I gotta, I'm about to have a heart attack. Like I sit down like, 'cause you're using every muscle in your body. Like, it's so hard. Um, yeah. No, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's definitely a real, a reality, a reality check in that way.

[00:56:03] That's why I'm like, we need to play pickleball. It's an easy exercise that I actually want to do.

[00:56:07] Josiah: Yeah. And

[00:56:08] this was another thing that I, I, another change that I made too was I started looking for activities that, um, I would, might actually enjoy.

[00:56:19] Cody: Mm-hmm.

[00:56:20] Josiah: That would get me like getting more physical, um, and or, or finding a way to make the, the activities in the past I didn't enjoy enjoyable. So for example, I did kickball, you know, in the spring and, and learned a lot about myself in that process.

[00:56:38] Uh, and then like, and then, you know, I, I'd been, I got a membership at the gym, I don't know, like four or five months ago, but never went until you and I decided, you know, like two, two and a half months ago, Hey, let's go together. It'll give

[00:56:54] Cody: a lot better than me. I had that same, I had that same gym membership and didn't go for a year, so it's a lot better than me.

[00:57:02] Josiah: yeah. And, uh, and so, you know, I, but, but

[00:57:07] it's the, for me it's the social aspect of it too. It's like I needed that to kind of kickstart that process and, um, and. So that when I go, I'm not just in my head the whole time thinking about how much I hate it. Uh, and so it's, it's just all, it's a, it's a convergence of multiple things that has, is seems to be making it stick for me this time.

[00:57:29] Um, and, and, and the other thing too is like, I want to, I wanna be able to keep up with my kids. Like, you know, I wanna actually be able to play with them and yeah. Run around the backyard. And, um, I don't want the, my, my past example of, of how little physical activity I did. I don't want that to be their example of what, you know, the threshold should be as you grow up.

[00:57:56] Um, and, and so it, that's a big part of my motivation too, is, um, is my kids. And, and so that's, that's another reason why I'm excited about this. On the, on the flip side of it, I was, man, I was. I had a good example of a thing that I was hiding from, and now I can't remember it. Um,

[00:58:21] but

[00:58:22] I have been,

[00:58:30] like, I, I've come so far in terms of I letting myself be seen.

[00:58:38] This

[00:58:38] live stream is a great example of that, right? Uh, there's still some, like, there's still a lot of resistance there for me. And, um, and so I think you and I actually, we, we talked about this on the procrastination episode that'll be coming out, uh, in a couple weeks.

[00:58:57] And, and, and so this might be a little bit of a rehash, but I just in the process of, um, you know, we're launching, we technically have a YouTube channel. This is streaming on our YouTube channel, but I've not created.

[00:59:12] Many videos for it. And, and so I've been working on that and actually started recording and uh, and editing and it is just been so painful.

[00:59:25] Um, so, so yes, I, I am doing it. And also like

[00:59:30] I,

[00:59:30] it's taken me way longer to kind of get past this hump because I, I, I just don't want to be seen like in that way. It just feels so vulnerable. Um, and, and I think that there's a, a big piece of it is like, because I have the background that I have and like I know I have this idea of like what it should be in terms of quality and if it's not up to this ridiculous standard, even though I've not had a lot of practice actually doing it.

[00:59:59] Um, so that's completely unrealistic. Uh, like, it just, it's, it's so painful. And so that's why I texted, I texted Cody today and I was like, uh, yeah. I'm gonna need you to edit these because, uh, editing a video of myself is so painful. It's torturous. And so,

[01:00:18] Cody: yeah.

[01:00:19] Josiah: so hopefully we can, uh, we can work that out to where you can edit most of them.

[01:00:23] 'cause I don't wanna do it.

[01:00:26] Cody: Yeah. That is something I have more practice on is editing myself in different aspects. It's not easy. It's definitely not easy. No. All those insecurities come out.

[01:00:38] Josiah: All right. Well,

[01:00:41] That's the

[01:00:41] end of the show.

[01:00:42] Cody: That's our show.

[01:00:43] Josiah: Okay. Uh,

[01:00:46] that's, how do we end this? We, we never figured that out.

[01:00:49] Cody: Yeah, we're still working on it. I'm gonna come up with an outro

[01:00:52] Josiah: Okay.

[01:00:53] Cody: until then. Awkward silence until we hit. And so I guess, um, we'll be back in two weeks with an episode though, like a real episode.

[01:01:00] Josiah: Yes. Procrastination out next,

[01:01:03] Cody: if you're listening to this and you're in our community, we need responses.

[01:01:08] Josiah: Right.

[01:01:09] Cody: If you're not in our community, join our community and give me a response. I need responses for this episode to finish it, so please, pretty please.

[01:01:15] Josiah: It's on

[01:01:16] procrastination, so they're all waiting till the last minute to do it.

[01:01:18] Cody: Oh yeah, it's a nice, nice little lesson for me, I guess.

[01:01:23] Josiah: All right, see everybody.

[01:01:25] Cody: See you

[01:01:25] later.