[LIVE] Do Fives Hate the Holidays?

Welcome Back to Enneagram Five Live

Josiah: Hello and welcome to Enneagram five live.

Cody: Hello everybody.

Josiah: All right, we are back. This has been, it's been a while since we've done one of these.

Cody: It has. The last time we were doing this, I hadn't moved into the void, or it looks

Josiah: You are always in the void, but just, uh, not physically.

Cody: visually, I didn't have a visual representation, but now I do, until I figure out what to do back here. I'm gonna have to that out. But yeah, it's been a while. Been a while.

Josiah: Yeah. 

Housekeeping and Year-End Announcements

Josiah: Well, one thing we need to, a little bit of housekeeping we need to do real quick is, uh, letting everybody know that this is the last episode we're doing for the rest of the year, so having a little live episode to celebrate 2025. And, uh, then we're taking some time off, and then we'll be back after the holidays.

Josiah: I,

Cody: Yeah. It'll be, about it.

Josiah: yeah. 

Episode Segments Overview

Josiah: So we're going to run through some segments here. We do these live. If you, if this is the first live episode you listen to, we do these a little bit different than the typical episode. And so we're gonna do a red, yellow, green check-in and just catching up kind of how we're doing. This week we're going to talk about current curiosities, and so what interesting rabbit holes have we been going down?

Josiah: And then we're going to talk about whether or not fives hate the holidays. So that'll be fun. And then I've got multiple, would you rathers this time, which will be nice. Uh, there's some good ones in there. Then we're gonna do, uh, our, our growth versus comfort segment, just talking about where we've kind of chosen growth and where we haven't recently.

Josiah: And then a bonus one that I just sprung on here that Cody doesn't know about. So, uh, it is

Josiah: Oh, okay. Great. There you go. 'cause Cody doesn't read any of my emails apparently. Uh, so, so we're just gonna talk about, um, 2025 versus 2026. So what

Josiah: do we feel like, uh, were the highlights? What are we, uh, what do we want to take into next year, and what do we want to leave behind?

Josiah: All right. So let's get started here. 

Red, Yellow, Green Check-In

Josiah: Red, yellow, green. How you doing, Cody?

Cody: I am going to say I am, I think I'm yellow. I think I'm

Josiah: Okay.

Cody: Um, I, holidays can be stressful. Um, and this year we've got a bunch of things that. It's not my business to talk about that's going on and just, you know, silly things, family things. And then, um, yeah, I've got, you know, my parents are in town right now. Um, it's the first time they've been back since they moved to Florida. So, and they're staying with us in our new house, and that's always fun with three dogs. So now I have five dogs in the house with us right now,

Josiah: Geez.

Cody: so that's a lot. Um, then outside of that, just, you know, being in the alcohol industry during the holidays is not ideal for the sales person that has to deal with it because, um, it, it, like how customers treat restaurant staff is they pass that on to us so that, that energy gets passed on to me a lot every single

Josiah: yeah.

Cody: on like. know, DEFCON won, everything's gonna end if I don't get this one case of tequila or whatever. And so it's always this whole thing, but yeah, you know, it's just, I've been, and I'm just running, I'm, I'm being pulled in many different directions and doing different things. I just recently took a job doing a voiceover a documentary, 

Josiah: Cool. 

Cody: something that I did not need to put any more irons in the fire, but I couldn't say no to it.

Cody: So, you

Josiah: Yeah.

Cody: uh, that's what I will be

Josiah: Is

Cody: this Actually. I'll be recording scripts.

Josiah: nice. Is it the documentary that I'm aware of?

Cody: Yes,

Josiah: It's okay. Well, it's secret documentary. Uh,

Cody: documentary. Not out yet. Um,

Josiah: we just can't share it.

Cody: can't share it. Whenever I do, whenever it is out, I'll let everybody know though.

Josiah: Yes. It's very, uh, local to where we live, so,

Josiah: um,

Josiah: yeah.

Cody: it's a whole thing. Um, but yeah, so just, you know, I just, I feel like I've just, it's one of those, it's that time of year where it's like a lot of irons in the fire. I'm very much looking forward to the break. Not that I don't re love releasing episodes and whatever.

Cody: I'm gonna try my hardest though. I've decided that over the break I'm gonna try really hard to be more in involved in the community. 'cause I feel like I'm really bad at it otherwise. And so, wanna stay in touch with everybody on the, in our little, our little of, what is it? Like a four week break, probably four or five

Josiah: Yeah, there we go.

Cody: Short little, short little thing.

Josiah: Speaking of, uh, if you're watching right now, just drop a comment here in the chat and say hello. Uh, and also if you want to join us in the red, yellow, green, you can drop the color in of how you're feeling right now. Cool. Uh, I'm squinting really hard 'cause I'm looking at all, all this on this tiny little screen.

Josiah: Okay. Uh, all right, well, I will, I will go while people are dropping some comments in, so I am, I'm green. Yeah,

Josiah: I think I, I was feeling a little, the last couple of weeks were a little kind of red yellow mix and, uh, just trying to push to get a bunch of stuff done so I could actually take some time off for Thanksgiving.

Cody: Mm-hmm.

Josiah: And I did, which was great. And so I took Thursday through Sunday off and just kinda relaxed. We hung out with family. Um, went up and saw my family, which was really nice and chill and uh, we had a good time. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, driving, driving up there and back outside Nashville from Chattanooga, um, especially.

Josiah: Yeah, on a holiday weekend. Oh, and coming back it was some crazy fog on top of Mount Mount Eagle. And, and it was like, the traffic was terrible. Everyone turned into an asshole driver. Um, so that part of it I did not like. Um, I probably also turned into an asshole driver, uh, which, which my family did not like

Cody: complaining about you.

Josiah: yet.

Josiah: I'm sure. I'm sure. And, uh, but it was, it was nice because I was very intentional going into the weekend to just focus on connecting and not trying to have any like, objectives on things we need to get done or certain things we gotta do, but just spending time and, um, talking and just, you know, just connecting.

Josiah: And I think that that. Helped a lot in terms of energy levels for me during the weekend. And so I was, um, I felt, aside from the traffic stuff, like I, I felt recharged coming out of the weekend, which was really good. And now I'm, um. In, uh, in fully five. We're kind of in between the, like, they've done the first two pathways and the next one's gonna come out in January.

Josiah: And so, um, I'm also now getting to focus on marketing stuff. Like all my focus on marketing stuff and, and getting clips of the podcast done and getting all that stuff set up again so we got more, more content coming in short form. And so that's nice because that's something that's been like on my plate and I know that I need to get caught up on that stuff.

Josiah: But I just didn't have, like, I wanted to make sure I'm focusing on the, like where people were serving and fully five. And so I'm, I'm just, uh, I kind of put that on the back burner, but now I can focus on it for the next month and I'm excited about that. So.

Cody: That's awesome.

Josiah: Cool. You know, we've got, I think we have the ability to show the comments, oh, that's way too small.

Josiah: Can we do tall, wide? This is a new feature. You can actually show the comments, but now I can't read them 'cause they're so small.

Cody: finally caught up to Twitch

Josiah: There we go.

Cody: only like 10 years. Too late.

Josiah: Oh my gosh. I cannot read that.

Josiah: Maybe you could read them. You read them

Cody: I can read it really easily. Hello? Uh, LeBron? Is that LeBron? Please tell me that's how you spell LeBron. That's great. Um, ether. Ether. Um, Ola Green. Oh, you're green. Oh. Missed, almost missed the live 'cause she was researching. 

Josiah: nice.

Cody: is. I can't see that far. Um, they were researching and um, that's a really good reason to miss a five thing is to. By being a five, uh, uh, hello? I think orange for me. Orange. All

Josiah: So like a red trending yellow maybe.

Cody: Or maybe a yellow

Josiah: Cool.

Cody: Uh, you're, you're a ha you're a

Josiah: Either way.

Josiah: I'm, I'm, I'm very, I'm, because I'm green. I'm feeling very optimistic right now.

Cody: say. Yeah. You're the opposite side of me. I'm like, maybe they're going red.

Josiah: Yeah. All right. 

Current Curiosities

Josiah: Uh, so current curiosities, I know I'm kind of, since you didn't read the topics we were doing

Josiah: what, oh, you're ready? Okay, great. And, and,

Cody: this one every episode that we

Josiah: all right. That's true. That's true.

Josiah: Um, okay. Well then you go and anyone in the comments, they can drop what you've been, what rabbit holes you've been going down recently.

Josiah: And then, uh, I will, I will think of mine while you're doing, you're talking

Cody: So you knew ahead of time, but you didn't think of anything I.

Josiah: correct.

Cody: Okay, just wanna point that out. Um, so I have been researching frequencies in regards to how you can receive signal for in-ear monitors,

Josiah: Okay.

Cody: my in-ear monitors stopped working at a gig a few weeks ago, and they cut out a lot throughout the whole set.

Cody: And they're not, they're not expensive. I knew that there was probably, I knew that there was a difference between expensive ones that are more reliable and the ones that are cheaper that you might have some issues with. What I didn't know was that the cheaper ones are on 2.4 gigahertz, which is what, apparently everything is on

Josiah: Yep.

Cody: all radio signals in the city. And I am out here playing on a rooftop bar in the middle of Chattanooga. For three hours. And it happened on that gig that I did on my birthday last Saturday that somewhere in the middle it just cut out and then just shut off. So then it was deaf singing with earplugs in my ears

Josiah: Uh.

Cody: I had to wait for a good moment and I like hit a chord or whatever and I reached back and just tried to hold the button and turn it on really fast.

Cody: And luckily it came back on. But that's when I was like, this isn't gonna happen again. I can't, I gotta have some kind of process where I'm going get something else. And so I've been trying to figure out like best bang for your buck and like went down a whole rabbit hole of like, okay, now I know that the issue is the frequencies.

Cody: So then you can put that in the search and find different, different answers and different things. Um, so that's what comes to mind. I don't know, it's not very exciting, but I've, I've literally spent like an entire day yesterday just like reading about things and, and what devices are on which things and, and how you can even, did you know that you can get, uh, any type of like a radio thing and it can be like a, um, a band or a B band all the way to Z and that different states are, uh, different states are certified for different bands.

Cody: It's like Tennessee is an a band state, so you're free to do a band. It's safe to not be on any like emergency frequencies and all of that stuff and it won't interfere with anything, I guess.

Josiah: I did not know that.

Cody: to different state. It might be ZB band, but it's usually seems to be A or B is what most people use.

Cody: So it's interesting. So yeah, your fun fact out of my, outta my

Josiah: Fun fact.

Cody: Yeah.

Josiah: I am gonna swap us so that you're, it looks more like you're looking at me because that was driving me crazy.

Cody: screen, but then I'm, I'm over here today. I don't know. Eventually I'll maybe have what you have in your fancy little projector that has a, or a, not projector, but a teleprompter.

Josiah: the prompter. Yeah. Then you won't be able to read the comments either.

Cody: That's true. Well, I could have 'em on a separate screen. Surely you have other screens.

Josiah: Um, you can't pop 'em out. I don't think We'll figure it out. Yeah, we'll figure it out.

Cody: Twitch did that forever ago Anyway, sorry.

Josiah: Okay. Uh, yeah, so I have gone down some YouTube rabbit holes about basically, uh, I don't know why, um, but it's fixing up like nineties era cars and trucks and it was, I I, it was one of those things where I was eating lunch one day and.

Josiah: A video popped up on YouTube that looked interesting and it was about, um, like basically swapping out the engine on a, a Volkswagen GTII think, or like a, like a nineties era. One.

Josiah: Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I sent that to you. You didn't watch it? Um,

Cody: did you send it to? On YouTube.

Josiah: I texted it to you.

Cody: that I never Oh, okay. We also have a queue that you add videos to that I

Josiah: Right,

Cody: and, and I want to,

Josiah: right.

Josiah: Um, once, but once they, uh, once I watched one, then my whole feed was just videos like that. And I don't know why, but I cannot stop watching them. And the one that I was watching recently, this guy, he's, he's from Detroit and. He basically bought this giant warehouse in Detroit and is starting his own car company.

Josiah: But it's really hard to do if you try to do it the regular way. Um, but you can, the way around it that they're kind of like crowdsourcing is, um, to essentially like create kit cars where it's like the car is like 99% together and then you have to just like connect some things and then somehow that makes it a hot, it's some, it's some like weird loophole, um, around a lot of the regulation.

Josiah: But what he's doing right now is he, he took a, he went and found a Tesla model. Three, I think.

Josiah: And, uh, that was wrecked and pulled. The, the motors and the, like, the wheels, like the a, the axis, the two ax axes, uh, you can tell how much I know about cars. Um, but pulled all of that out and, and it is putting it in a, one of those Japanese K trucks.

Josiah: And so, you know, those little, like, those tiny little trucks. yeah, So it's,

Cody: there's a whole company that's doing those, those tiny

Josiah: yeah.

Cody: Electric. Anyway, sorry, I'm sidetracking, but yeah.

Josiah: Yeah, but he's putting like, you know, Tesla motors in it, which are gonna be insane. And it is because those things are small and light with all this horse horsepower. Maybe we are, I don't know. But, uh, so I, I was watching that one of those today, um, watch watching him like pull out all this stuff from a Tesla and try to figure out they had to like 3D scan the entire K truck in order to, and, and the pieces from the Tesla in order to see if they could figure out how to get them to fit like in their 3D modeling before they, um, before they did it.

Josiah: Yeah. It was crazy.

Cody: That is really crazy. My buddy, my buddy Logan sends me Instagram messages all the time in dms of new companies that he finds that are like weird little cars or trucks that are electric and like super affordable, like starting at like $20,000.

Josiah: Mm-hmm.

Cody: so, uh, and one of them is, it's like a really small truck with that short bed and you can do anything you want on the back of it.

Cody: It can be an SUV, it can be a truck with a short bed, or it can be, um, like a, I can't remember what else it was. There's like three or four different versions you can get uh, basically customize the whole thing. And it's still like $20,000, which is crazy. And they go

Josiah: Nice.

Cody: 300 miles. So it, I feel like it's the same.

Cody: It's gotta be the same company surely. But there's probably a lot of people trying to jump on that bandwagon right now.

Josiah: You are gonna have to, uh, drop the link in the community. That's something you can do to engage with the community. Drop the link of,

Cody: Drop links. Yeah. Maybe.

Josiah: um, all right, we talked about current curiosities. Up next is myth busting. I don't know much how much of a myth this is, but

Cody: Okay.

Do Fives Hate the Holidays?

Josiah: do fives hate the holidays?

Cody: You know, I thought about this a lot when I saw the title as you scheduled it. And that's where I knew we were gonna talk about this at some point. Um, I thought about this, I don't, I've gone back and forth 'cause I, it, uh, kind of falls into the myth category because it can go for me, it can go either way.

Cody: It depends on the time. I've, I could easily, people could easily assume that I like the holidays, but there's actually a pretty big part of me that really does love the holidays. And I love kind of like the busyness, like every, everything that's making me yellow right now is also things that I. I kind of look forward to when it's not here. so, uh, kind of going back and bringing that into this a little bit. I said yellow, but I really am not, like, I'm not yellow. I'm yellow because of stress and like the weight of what I feel, what going on right now, not necessarily because I'm not enjoying doing it, if that makes sense. And so I think that, um, in that regard, like one of my favorite holiday memories is one where, and I've, I've probably talked about this at some point in an episode about working at Starbucks with all the drinks lined up.

Josiah: Right. Yeah.

Cody: if you think about that being one of my most cherished holiday memories, that's a really strange thing to think back to, think. And so, uh, yeah, I think that sometimes, and I, and I think back to like when I used to love going to my, my, my granny's house and there'd be like, it felt like a hundred people in there and everybody's opening up presents and there's a bunch of family.

Cody: I didn't, I only saw on this day every year and. all dead now. Like I don't even know who they were. I still dunno who they were. Maybe they weren't even fa, maybe I wasn't related to them. Um, but uh, yeah, I don't, but then, but then I think about like, so there's different aspects of it. For me, there's the part where it's like, I do enjoy like the festive I enjoy the festiveness of it. My buddies that I get invited every year to this like t Christmas tiki party that's happening next Saturday, which I'm actually gonna miss most of, most of it this sa this time. 'cause I'm playing, doing a gig, working a gig. But I, um, I look forward to it every single year and it's like, it's so fun.

Cody: And some of those people I only see at this party, kind of some of them. And it's always so fun. And I always leave feeling very happy that I went. And it's always a really great experience. So like, and I love like, getting together with people and, and having a reason to get together. I mean, maybe that's part of what I like about it, is like the expectations are all set for what everybody's gonna be experiencing during the holidays. Um. And so that is a huge part of it for me. Um, and I'm big on like family things. So like, and the older I get, the more I enjoy family gatherings generally, depending on who is present. Um, and so that, that part of it is actually great for me. But the flip side of it is I hate the gift giving portion as we have talked about, I think in the very first episode of this show ever. Um, and so I definitely don't like being put on the spot. Don't like everybody looking at me. this happened just the other day when, uh, Madison and her parents were giving me presents for my birthday and I opened things and my very honest and unfiltered reaction came out before I could mask it. And so it was this whole thing where I like, like she got me.

Cody: She loves, she knows I love these bottles, these stupid little o walla bottles. The baby, I call it my, uh. My, my, um, my comfort water, my comfort bottle, like, you know, it's my secure security bottle, my, my security bottle, um, like a blanket. And, uh, but I have this whole thing where IFI realized that they, they, they build like build and mold in them everywhere.

Cody: Like you really have to keep them clean. And I realized that, oh my God, what have I been doing to myself? Like, I don't even know. And so then I went down that whole rabbit hole and like lost my mind and found that there's like special little tools you can buy on Amazon that like go into these little crevices and are made for these bottles.

Cody: And so I was like, and there's like seven bucks. So I was like, okay, I'll do that. But what I did vow to myself was that I would, and I said this to, to Madison it, will never buy another black one because I can't see the mold. I don't know if it's dirty or not. I don't know if, how, how dirty, what if I missed a spot, you know, I started getting really upset about it. And so. She knew I wanted more, like big ones like this one's like a, I don't even know, 32 ounces at least. And I really like these really big ones. And so she got me one for my birthday, it was black, so and so I opened it I was like, oh wow, this is great, but it's black. And she was like, yeah, you said you like black.

Cody: And I was like, no, I didn't. And so then it was like that awkward moment where everybody's like, you like it though? You know? And I'm just like, no, I love it. I'm really happy about it. We're gonna have to trade it though, know? And so it's like, that's the perfect example of like, I feel like an asshole and it makes me hate any of those situations.

Cody: I,

Josiah: Right.

Cody: I don't want any of that. And so, you know, like that part is exhausting to me. And the whole like, you have to be around people that friend, you know, family members or whatever that like, maybe are less. A bit of a fan of, I don't know, there's just a lot of, like, there's a lot of managing dynamics and all of that, which I don't like doing either.

Cody: And feeling like I'm in the middle of that, especially like between two families. And yeah, it's all of that comes around and I kind of hate it and want to jump out of my skin and run away forever and never come back. And so like, there's always that part of it that's, that's always kind of grading on me after a while.

Cody: And I, I do feel that like one, by the time January comes around, I'm like, glad I don't have to do that again for a while, you know?

Josiah: Yeah.

Josiah: Yeah, totally.

Cody: I don't know, I go both ways. Like maybe like, maybe like all things because we're all human, but, you know, I feel like any Enneagram myths are a dangerous, or like stereotypes are a dangerous game to play.

Cody: And I feel like that's kind of where we're, where we're at with this one.

Josiah: Yeah. I, I'm with you. I, when I was a kid, I loved the holidays. Um. Because my grandma would make these homemade mashed potatoes and just all this food. I just remember all this food all the time, and it, we, we didn't spend a lot of time together as a family. Like we didn't do, you know, like a, like a nuclear family.

Josiah: Like we didn't have really any like, tra traditions. We didn't celebrate much. My dad, you know, shortly, uh, shortly after I was born, um, started becoming convinced that, you know, all the holidays were pagan and we weren't gonna celebrate any of that stuff as God-fearing Christians. And so, uh, we didn't, we didn't celebrate,

Josiah: uh, we didn't celebrate a lot of stuff.

Josiah: And, uh, but I always, I always enjoyed going over to my grandparents' house and, you know, I would, I would lay under the tree and just look up. At all the lights, I would lay there for hours, just daydreaming and thinking about stuff and look, just looking at the lights. Um, so I, I enjoyed that. But I, you know, as I got older, like teenage years and we, we didn't go back to see my grandparents, um, 'cause we moved away when I was seven and I just kind of, I don't know, it just always seemed like a hassle.

Josiah: Like, there's just always stuff that you had to do. Everybody was stressed out and I did not, I got to where I just didn't really care. I didn't want anything to do with the holidays most of the time. And then I got married and I married a four. And, uh, Amy is, Amy was like the opposite of me. And her family was like the opposite of my family.

Josiah: And, uh, and. So we, it, she kind of warmed me up to the holidays again and it was nice doing like family tradition stuff with her family.

Cody: Hmm.

Josiah: And, and then, you know, we started having kids and once you have kids, like the holidays are just different, especially when they're little 'cause everything's new and so, you know, you get to see it through their eyes and, uh, and it's, it's fun to kind of establish our own little traditions and stuff.

Josiah: Um, but I feel like everything's different since 2020

Josiah: and it's just not, it's not quite the same for a lot of different reasons.

Josiah: So that part has been hard. And then I always, I don't know what it is. I always feel like going in, you know, we get to September, October, I'm like, okay, this is the year where I'm gonna like, you know, ease back on everything in December and really just take time to rest and slow things down and just enjoy stuff and, you know, play with the kids and, you know, make and do all the, all of the, the, the Christmas stuff we've always talked about doing and, and all.

Josiah: And then, and then, you know, November hits and there's always something crazy going on. Like, it, it is just, there's always stuff it feels like I have to do and it makes it so hard to slow down and, and then I get stressed out because I have these expectations, or I feel like there are expectations that others have of me.

Josiah: And, um, and then if I, if I'm not careful, I can really, I can get caught up in that. And, and it make, and then kind of turn into a grouch, and then I am, you know, or a Grinch, and then I am, uh,

Cody: everybody's presence and

Navigating Holiday Gift Anxiety

Josiah: right.

Cody: mountain.

Josiah: Exactly.

Josiah: Um, so yeah, it's, it's, it's a little bit bittersweet. Uh, and, and it's the same thing, you know, afterwards. I, I don't, I don't like receiving gifts either, unless it's something that someone bought for my list because like,

Josiah: I, you know, I don't, I, I'm, I have so much anxiety around like, my reaction

Josiah: in the moment and making sure that my reaction is acceptable to the people who gave me the gift or the people who are around.

Josiah: And, uh, but, but listen.

Josiah: Yeah,

Josiah: li lists are wonderful in that regard because I can, you know, you, it's still, it's, I still don't know what I'm gonna get, but at least I know it's something that I'm going to enjoy and I can have a genuine reaction.

Cody: I've had people get me things that were like things on my list and then that's also, that's an interesting reaction. You have to really mask really quickly 'cause you're

Josiah: Right,

Cody: oh, it's like the thing I really wanted but isn't. Thanks. Um, and here's all the reasons why I picked this one over the one you got me, but it's fine.

Josiah: right, right.

Cody: Um, yeah, no, and it's like, man, we sound like such assholes. We, because we're so ungrateful. But, um. 

Bittersweet Holiday Memories

Cody: But in the moment, I think it's more about, I think it's more for me about the predictability of it and the, my own like expectations. And maybe, and I was thinking about this too, about how you, you were talking about like the bittersweet side of the holidays and how I think there's a lot that we go through at this point in our lives that people just, there's no way to prepare you for that. and I

Josiah: Yeah.

Cody: that, that one of those things is maybe that if I had to pick something that was like my least favorite part of the holidays, it's the part of me that consistently every year mourns the fact that like, my granny isn't here. And she's what made the holidays really special for me.

Josiah: Yeah.

The Magic of Childhood Holidays

Cody: I think about that, like my parents did an amazing job when I was a kid making the holidays special and like would go all out with like the whole thing.

Cody: And I remember waking up thinking, I heard Santa on the, on the roof and then like, wait, you know, going to see like the, what is it? The, um, the reindeer. Trails or whatever outside and like we would scatter like this reindeer mix or whatever out in the yard. You ever do that?

Josiah: No. No.

Cody: you know, and, and the idea and that you had to like put out cookie.

Cody: I still remember putting out cookies and milk for Santa.

Josiah: Mm-hmm.

Cody: same brand my dad loved. And um, and so I think that there's a lot of that. 

Struggles with Holiday Spirit

Cody: That's like when you get older and like we're in this place now too, where maybe because we don't have kids, 'cause I don't have kids, I feel more indifferent towards the holidays because it's like, it's not how I remember it.

Cody: And it's always this kind of bland like thing that happens in a whirlwind and then it's over and then it's like, okay, well man I sure miss like the magic I used to feel from the holidays. And you realize that. Also too, you realize that the older you get, like the magic you felt was from people doing it.

Cody: And now we're at that age where we're supposed to be the ones bringing the magic, which

Josiah: Right.

Cody: turn gives us that magic. But I don't, I ain't got nobody to give that magic to yet. So like it's just not as, it's a, it's different. And so now I'm just like left in the middle in purgatory of the holidays being like, I mean, I guess this is cool, but know, we're just kind of all sitting around doing the same thing we do every year. And Yeah, and it really snuck up on me this year too. So I feel like, I don't know, I feel like I, it, I'm just now starting to get back to the place where, or mentally I'm like, okay, we're in the holidays. We're finally in the holidays, but actually it's gonna be over in a few weeks.

Josiah: Right. Yeah.

Cody: it's just not the same as it was when I was younger.

Cody: And so I think a part of me mourns that process of it, and that kind of dampens the mood a little for me. Plus my granny died in December. Like she, her anniversary of death was just like a few, or no, it's in a couple days. It's like three days from now.

Josiah: Mm.

Cody: you know, it's, it is what it

Josiah: Yeah.

Cody: yeah.

Josiah: Yeah. I, I feel you. Um, you know, Amy's mom passed a few years ago and she was definitely the, the one on that side of the family that brought the magic, and that's really, it's really hard. Yeah. Um, you know, to your, to your point, one thing that would help is spending more time with us during the holidays and then we can like, share the magic with the kids,

Josiah: and that would help maybe a little bit with the holiday spirit.

Cody: spend more time with you now than I ever have.

Josiah: That's very true, but just me.

Cody: Just you.

Josiah: Yeah.

Cody: Yeah.

Josiah: Yeah.

Josiah: We'll have to,

Cody: with the kids. It would, it would be good for

Josiah: yeah.

Cody: in that way, like taking the medicine, you don't want to take, like the thought of being around that many kids like stresses me out a lot. But I know that I want to, and I really want to do it more, but like, when it comes down to like actually doing it sometimes when my bro, my brain goes, do we really want to today?

Cody: Is this today the day that we're gonna do this? Have we have, we, have we withheld enough energy and resources to handle fi three young boys yelling in our ears for two hours, you know, sensory overload. And I maybe can blame that a little bit on the autism, but you know, it's just sometimes I have to like work myself up to it mentally, but I always miss them and want, want to see them.

Cody: And when I do see them, I'm always so happy I do. So it's more of a dreading thing than a actual not wanting to do it thing.

Josiah: Glad to know how you really feel.

Cody: I mean, it, I don't think it's bad. It's nothing to, it has nothing to do with you

Josiah: No, I I get it. I get it. I get it. Um, real quick before we go to the next segment, uh, Michelle says, hi, anyone want to be friends? So, I don't know if this is a real person, but if it's a real person, go be friends with Michelle.

Cody: Yeah. And, and

Josiah: Don't leave her hanging.

Cody: go join our community. That's what it's for.

Josiah: There we go. All right. 

Would You Rather: Holiday Edition

Josiah: Uh, next up is, would you rather, uh, I don't know if we're gonna get through all these or not.

Josiah: Would you rather host holiday dinner or answer intrusive questions from relatives for one hour straight?

Cody: oh, for sure. Answer intrusive questions for one hour

Josiah: That, that was my pick two.

Cody: Yeah, for sure. Because it's, because you said family members 

Josiah: Uh.

Cody: my family members' thoughts of how they think of me. And so like I always answer them as truthfully as possible without any filter. And I, as you can imagine, I'm a delight around the holidays, um, out of all the things I just said, and then that, um, no, for sure.

Cody: That's, that's an easy one. Next.

Josiah: Yeah, yeah. I agree. Uh, okay. And also I like holiday, making holiday meals also super stresses me out, so, um,

Cody: any meals. I can't do things in the kitchen. It's too overwhelming for me.

Josiah: yeah. Yep.

Josiah: Okay. All right. Would you rather shop for gifts without a list or decorate the house with someone who has strong opinions?

Cody: I would definitely shop without a list.

Josiah: Hmm. Okay. Tell me more.

Cody: I hate being told what to do. And if somebody has a really strong opinion, then that automatically tells me they're not telling me what to do in a nice way. Be. So I just, I think going, I like shopping without lists. I like, just like exploring world's my oyster. I'm going into every store. I don't know what's gonna be in there. Will I see something I like? Will I think of someone when I see it? Who knows? It's a, it's a mystery. It's, it's, it's an, it's a more of an adventure that way. Going and being in a room with somebody telling me where everything needs to be hung and where everything needs to go, and like, this is what's happening. No, that's, that's my hell this, that's, that's, that's my life. Buying a house is, every room is just like, how are we gonna do this? I don't know. No, thank you.

Josiah: So, yeah, I think I am the opposite.

Josiah: And, and it also, it also depends, like, I like shopping for, like, for the kids without a list. I think. 'cause I, you know, um, I'm also kind of buying stuff for my inner child.

Josiah: Uh. But, but

Josiah: anyone else, especially Amy, like having to shop, because I, I put so much pressure on trying to figure out, like, I don't know what she wants, but I know what she doesn't want, you know, and it's like, and is this, is this something that she would not want?

Josiah: And, uh, so yeah, I, I, that's such a hard thing for me to do and I feel like I, no matter what, I'm going to fail with whatever I pick. Um, but on the decorating the house thing, it's like if we're just decorating for the holidays and we're not, you know, doing interior design that I have to live with for years, then it, I actually would probably rather prefer someone else make all of those decisions.

Josiah: 'cause I don't want to have to make them. So it's just like, tell me what you want, where, and I'll do it and then I can be done with it. That's how I feel about that.

Cody: I agree with you except for. There's a certain way that, and again, maybe this isn't more of an autistic thing than a five thing, but I just have a certain way that I want the room to feel. I don't know how it needs to get that way, but I need to move things around and figure it out like a puzzle until it feels right. And, and we just started doing that, like, um, in our dining room we had these like bookshelf things against the wall, and we decided to, or actually Madison decided to move them to the corners of the room, completely changed the room. And I was like, this was it. This is what we were missing. The dining room didn't feel right, but now it does. And so, and most of the time I feel like she has that kind of good sensibilities about her. But like, I have these, like traumatic memories, not traumatic of being Dr. I'm being a dramatic, but she, I, I remember my mom, I actually just talked about this in the last episode, I think how my mom would wake up in the middle of the night and like just rearrange the furniture randomly.

Josiah: Yeah. Yeah.

Cody: And I'd have to help her rearrange it. And so kind of making a little call back to that episode and that story I very clearly remember 'cause it was when my dad worked night shift and she would stay up all night anyway. And then we would also stay up 'cause we were homeschooled. And so it'd be like 2:00 AM and my mom would be like knocking on the door like, Hey, can you come help me with something?

Cody: And I knew that meant that's not a, something that's a mini somethings and they're very heavy. And so I remember one time she moved the living room furniture into the den and the den furniture into the living room. And I had to help her with that. Like, so that is what comes to mind actually when you said that scenario

Josiah: that makes sense.

Cody: and that, so that to me is very intrusive in many ways and like not comfortable at all.

Cody: And I don't like it, but you know, yeah. Give me a list in the middle of a mall when I'm just like, I know that's what I'm there to do. Or not. Or not. Gimme a list. Don't gimme a list, but send me loose in the mall to be like, you have to get these many presents for this many people. with me.

Josiah: Okay. All right. Um, would you rather spend Christmas morning with zero alone time or travel all day with unpredictable delays?

Cody: Oh, stay at home is zero alone time self-preservation coming out for me in that one.

Josiah: Yeah, I,

Cody: either way, I want to be in my home.

Josiah: yeah, I, I agree with you on that one. I, I hate travel. Like, it, it depends. There are sometimes, there are rare occasions where it's like, I don't have to be back, or I don't have to be anywhere at any certain time. I'm traveling by myself and it's like, there's a delay that just means I get to, you know, chill and watch stuff on, you know, my iPad for a while or something like that.

Josiah: Um, but when I actually need to be somewhere and, um, yeah, it just, it's, I hate, I hate the unpredictable delays part. Um. And honestly every Chris, pretty much every Christmas morning these days is, is spent with zero alone time. So I'm used to that.

Cody: So you're like, gimme something else. I'll take whatever is not that.

Josiah: Um, would you rather participate in caroling? So that's like going up to random people's houses and singing for them

Josiah: with with a group,

Josiah: or have to give a heartfelt group toast at Christmas dinner?

Cody: Ooh, can I take THC for any of these activities?

Josiah: you have to be sober.

Cody: Oh, I'll just do the toast. I'll get it over with 2020 seconds of a toast versus singing in front of strangers at their front door. For sure. I'll take the toast. Yeah. Now, if I could be high while doing it, that's a very different story. I would definitely sing in front of some strangers at their door if I'm just like there chilling, you know?

Josiah: Yeah. Good answer. I think, I think I'm the same.

Cody: Yeah, me and you together caroling while drinking like a THC drink. Oh man, that'd be, see, that's a great time. That just sounds like a great time, A great way to

Josiah: That would be fun.

Cody: evening, a Friday afternoon or evening. Yeah.

Josiah: Yep. We should get your band together and just go caroling.

Cody: Just go caroling. Yeah.

Josiah: All right. Well that's all the, would you rathers? Um,

Josiah: okay. Uh, AER said, I agree. I would rather stay home. Yep. A hundred percent.

Cody: Yep.

Josiah: Okay. Uh, last couple things here where, I don't know, maybe we can, maybe we can kind of combine these, these last two and we'll say, looking back over the year

Reflecting on Personal Growth in 2025

Cody: Hmm.

Josiah: 2025, where have we chosen growth over safety and where did we default to comfort or withdrawal instead?

Cody: Hmm. I you should go first on this one. I need

Josiah: I go first. Hmm. Well, I mean, I just, I just, we just did this whole episode on, uh,

Josiah: where I was, I was very vulnerable. I'll say that's definitely a highlight of growth for me and, uh, just sort of being in that and talking through something I don't have an answer for yet. That's very personal. And, um, if you haven't listened, go listen to Better Off Alone, because that was, yeah, it was, it was a doozy and, uh,

Josiah: uh, yeah.

Josiah: Um,

Cody: I.

Josiah: yeah. And then I think, where did I with default to comfort or withdraw instead?

Josiah: Hmm. I don't know. That's been a hard one for me because I feel like this one has been a huge growth year for me.

Josiah: You know, getting laid off in February, launching all this stuff, going all in on fully five and the podcast and um, yeah, I would say maybe I still, there, there's still stints of when I am feeling overwhelmed, you know, going back into unhelpful habits of like binging YouTube or something like that, rather than using the tools that I know will help me get out of that and do the things that I need to do, but choosing not to do that anyway.

Josiah: Um, you know, it's a night and day difference between how it used to be, but there would still be short stints where I will get into that. And, and I kind of just have to let my, like, let myself do it and move through it and then, and then, and not shame myself and then kind of come out on the other side.

Josiah: Um, but I'd say if there's anything that really sticks out, it's, it's that, um, still kind of working through that sort of thing. What about you?

Cody: Um, okay. So, uh, it's kinda hard. I need, I feel like I need more time to think about this, to really come up with a great answer, but I, the thing that comes to mind is I feel like an area of growth for me this year is in my, hopefully there's been growth in my ability to, um, feel content, I

Josiah: Hmm.

Cody: is something that's been really hard for me to just like, be content with where I am in life, be content with my job, or be content with whatever the things are in my life.

Cody: And I've always had this like. Strong desire for, for more in those areas, more of whatever the goal is that I'm trying to get to or whatever, and like my need to feel the, or need to try to rush that process, we've

Josiah: Hmm.

Cody: about. I know that that's something that you relate to as well, I think that that is something where I find myself a lot more this year not feeling as much, um, anxiety under the surface all the time because I can feel, I, I found different ways and, and, and moments in which I can just, in where I can be like more present and more just kind of there and be content, which honestly has helped me with, you know, social connections, my relationships in life.

Cody: Like I, I feel like I'm not. As easily prone to defaulting to not being in the moment with my friends and having my mind be elsewhere five other places, probably. Um, oh, granted, like, you know, AIDS help with that. You know, I sell THC professionally and legally, uh, I should also say, and so I, you know, getting to experiment, getting to experiment a little bit more with, with how THG plays a role in my life versus how alcohol, the, you know, the, absence of alcohol in my life plays a part also.

Cody: And I think that, um, I've learned through using those kinds of means to like lower anxiety and, and help slow my mind down a lot. 'cause my mind is always just going a million miles a second with like five different things in my head, and I feel like. I've learned to, feel like more this year than not, I've learned that that contentedness that and that ability to kind of just relax into a moment has helped me experience, uh, connection with others a little bit more strongly and a little bit more, um, naturally, I guess, instead of feeling forced as much. And I feel like conversations like this, I generally like to think that they're better, that I say, I say more like, this particular conversation has kind of felt a little over the place, so maybe this isn't the best conversation to say that in out loud, but I feel like even conversations when we sit down to do these past few conversations, uh, in the show, um, for the, you know, for the show, I feel like I've, I felt more present there and felt like I could keep up with the conversation a little more.

Cody: I didn't feel the need to like, know where we were going in it, you know, and stuff. It's helped with like my expectations and stuff like that, um, where I have. What was it retreated into comfort or security? You're muted.

Josiah: Oh, uh, to default to comfort or withdraw.

Cody: Default to comfort or withdrawal? Um, well, I, I, I still very much, fall into like that classic Enneagram like trope of avarice. I think that, like, I easily feel like on the flip side of what I just said, I also can pretty easily still feel really drained emotionally and socially and, and feel like I need like an extended amount of time to recharge and get out of it.

Cody: And, uh, and sometimes I don't get that and then I feel resentful towards the world for not giving me that. Uh, but, but yeah, I still very much, I think that's kind of the flip side of the same. of same, the opposite side of the same coin in that way, where it's like one, in one sense, I've, I feel like I've really kind of leaned into connecting with people and being more in the moment and trying to slow my brain down a little bit and find of learning how to do that.

Cody: And then, but then on the flip side of it, I also sometimes feel more drained because of it. I don't know, it's, it is a weird, like, it's a weird give and take, I guess.

Josiah: Yeah, I get that. I, I've, maybe because I'm a, a social five, I experienced that a little bit less.

Cody: Yeah.

Josiah: Um, but there's still, it's, it's weird. I, we talk about this, um, in fully five actually. I, I talk about like the four energy rivers and, um, we, we tend to, you know, 'cause there's physical, emotional, mental and spiritual or purpose.

Josiah: And we tend to focus on the mental and then try to like get all the other rivers flowing by using the, the mental river. And so,

Josiah: um, and I, I often forget that, um. Example of this is when we feel em like emotionally drained. Um, like the other, like a couple weeks ago I scheduled all of these, um, these research calls, which was awesome, but it was like, I did not think it through.

Josiah: 'cause I had like 18 calls in a week and a half. And it was, it was very draining. Like it was, it was, it was energizing in one sense. Um, because I'm asking questions, I'm getting to know people and like I'm learning a lot of stuff. Um, there, uh, 'cause I was, I was interviewing fives about dealing with feeling and like what that experience is like for other people and, um, you know, what, what the struggles are, what the goals are, what has worked and what hasn't in dealing with that.

Josiah: Um, but I was also just so drained at the end of it. And I realized that my, my first instinct was to withdraw. And get alone time and like numb out.

Josiah: Um, but I, I remembered like the energy rivers and the thing that I, um, realized was that I, the, the one that was running low was my emotional energy. It was my emotional energy that got drained.

Josiah: And the way to like the source of that river is, is expression and connection. And, and so isolation would've just made it worse. And that's how normally it would, it would've worked for me is I would isolate and then I would just, I would not feel better. And then it would take me a long time to recover.

Josiah: And so instead what I did was I talked to Amy and basically was like, you know, I'm feeling drained in this way. I, I am realizing, and this was hard for me to do, I was like, I'm realizing I need connection. Can you help me figure out how to get connection with the kids in this moment? Can you know, can, what can we do for you and I to.

Josiah: You know, connect and with, you know, the time and the resources that we have available at the moment. And,

Josiah: um, and because of that, um, I was able to kind of fill that cup back up much more quickly and recover, you know, within a day instead of a week or two.

Josiah: And, um, and so I, but I, that has taken me a long time to learn how to do that, and it's still hard to catch that and not default to just like, whatever my, my strategies for trying to, um, recharge mentally are.

Josiah: And instead, uh, you know, figure out, okay, where, like, what type of energy am I actually drained in? And, and then what, what are the sources of energy for that specific type of energy? And then finding out how to, um, tap back into that, that specific source, um, to, I kind of went on a tangent there, but that's what, what you were saying reminded me of.

Josiah: Uh, okay. All right. 

Looking Forward to 2026

Josiah: So last, last segment here, thinking about, um, what do we want to, like looking back on 2025, what do we want to take into the next year and what do we want to leave behind?

Cody: Hmm. I would like 2026 to be, I would like to see myself make larger towards um, my creative goals and how those goals would be a part, a more part of my life. I feel like I made some good strides this year to make that happen, and I did a lot of things, but I would like to kind of take that in like. You know, hit the full throttle on that a little more in 2026.

Cody: And I think the thing that I would like to leave in this year and not take with me is my ability to, uh, hesitate on taking steps, which has been a theme of this whole show. But like, I, now it's just kind of a point where. It no longer benefits me and I don't like, it never benefited me, but I used to at least think it did.

Cody: I used to think, I used to pride myself in being so like cautious and, and, and reserved in certain ways. And I feel like that is a part of me. I don't want to keep, I think I have to shed that part of me to be able to make the strides creatively that I want to in my life and make the, my creative endeavors more a part of my life and figure out how that can help pay the bills more so it can continue to be more a part of my life.

Cody: But I've been tra taking myself seriously as a person and as an artist more lately that I've never been able to do. And so I finally feel like I'm kind of gaining aspects of, of a, of a person that I always wished I would be my whole life. And I'm finally like very naturally kind of starting to gain those, those those characteristics and. I would like to honor my younger self's wishes and become more a part of that more, more of that person, not less. So that's what I wanna do the next year.

Josiah: Hmm. Yeah, I love that. I want to carry into next year just renewed energy.

Cody: Hmm.

Josiah: And a lot of that has come from, I mean, what I just talked about with the, the different types of energy and, and being more aware and intentional about that. But also I have made huge strides in just my physical health,

Josiah: and that has been a big deal for me because all the stuff that I, I've been trying to do, or, you know, all the stuff that I've been doing this year, um, and, you know, all, everything I've been trying to do is like really hard in, in so many different ways.

Josiah: On top of, you know, the emotional turmoil of everything that has been going on this year as well, that we talked about in the last episode. Normally when I am faced with that kind of stuff, I, I always deprioritize, um, relationships and my physical health and those just get pushed down to the bottom.

Cody: Yeah.

Josiah: And, uh, so I can, you know, divert resources to solving whatever problem I'm trying to solve or, or whatever I'm doing, and, uh, you know, accomplishing whatever project I'm trying to, to tackle.

Josiah: And I didn't, I was very intentional this year to not do that.

Cody: Hmm.

Josiah: And so what that has looked like for me is figuring out ways to make sure that I have, I'm, I build into. My weekly routine, some sort of ritual that that helps in both of those areas. And, and so it's, you know, one is like you and I are doing our best to get together every Monday, regardless of whether we record.

Josiah: So you and I are hanging out more. I'm also, you know, I do the, the cold plunging thing with Ice Buddies on Saturday mornings. Um, and that helps, uh, both of those things just help me feel more connected to my friendships and, um, which has been, you know, it's, it's been huge for me. And, and then the other thing is going to the gym three times a week and, you know, and building in things into my week that help me, you know, get better sleep or, um, you know.

Josiah: Make better choices with the food that I'm eating and things like that. And it's made a huge difference for me. Like my energy baseline has been steadily increasing for the last six months, which, um, you know, I've never, I've never been in a period of time where it, it's been that way for that long. And, uh, and I would, before I was like, I would, I would be able to focus on my health for a little bit, a couple of months maybe, and then, and then I would get pulled off into something else and then I would just crash.

Josiah: And I just never seem to gain momentum. Um, but that's probably the thing that I'm, I'm most excited to carry into the next year, is just continuing that trend.

Josiah: Um, and, you know, reconnecting, like making sure that I'm, I'm continuing to be intentional about connecting with my body and changing that relationship to where I'm not just living in my head, but I'm, you know, more holistically.

Josiah: Uh, present, you know, and, and things like that. Um, and, and exercising has, has been a, a key part of that this year for me. Um, so that's what I'm carrying into next year. What I'm leaving behind. I,

Josiah: I would say my own stories and expectations on how I think things should be.

Josiah: Um, I, I started this year with all kinds of plans and expectations and like, this was the year we were gonna buy a house, and this was the year we were going to, you know, have a big celebration for Amy's 40th and we're going to take two beach vacations this year because, you know, I wanna spend more time with the kids and it has to look like this.

Josiah: And, uh, and of course none of those things happened,

Josiah: you know, because I got laid off and then like the whole trajectory changed and, um. And there is, there was definitely a process of me working through those stories and trying to figure out, um, how to let a lot of that stuff go and replace it with, you know, other ways that are more manageable or doable right now with our resources to, to still have, you know, connection and, and make progress towards things.

Josiah: Um, but I, that was, that. It's, it's been an ongoing process for me to try to let a lot of that stuff go because it can be easy for me to kind of beat myself up, um, for not being where I wanted to be in a certain timeframe.

Josiah: Um, but that, uh, 99% of that is like outside of my control, you know? Yeah. So that's what I'm leaving behind.

Cody: Those are good ones.

Josiah: All right. Well that's it. We got through everything right at the hour.

Cody: right at the hour, well, I guess it'll be the last, this'll be the last time. Uh, we see each other, collectively in this

Josiah: Collectively.

Josiah: Yeah.

Holiday Wishes and Farewell

Cody: hope everybody has great holidays. Um, we wish you well in these holiday season and hopefully not too many, uh, moments of discomfort and, and, uh, you know, cringiness for you as a five.

Cody: Um, yeah, and, uh, I guess, yeah, we'll see you. you in 2026.

Josiah: Yep. And, uh, I am going to continue to, to do the newsletter and during this time too. So if you do want to stay connected with that touchpoint, make sure that you're on the list. You can go to enneagram five.com/newsletter, um, and, and sign up. I'm sure we'll have some good holiday themed ones, uh, coming up too.

Josiah: So that's all I got to say. Thanks everybody.

Cody: hello in the community.

Josiah: There you go. All right. See you guys.

Cody: See, uh.