Ep 51: Procrastination

[00:00:00] So Cody? Yes. When were we supposed to record this episode? Like I don't, we've been trying to record it for like two months. I mean, realistically true. Yeah, but we just keep putting it off because everything keeps happening. Or you hurt your neck over the weekend or I, I hurt my back or?

[00:00:26] Or we show up last night and then can't actually record. Yeah. 'cause when we get down, troubleshooting rabbit holes, troubleshooting rabbit holes, talking to chat GPT for two hours.

[00:00:41] But we're here, but we're here. So obviously we're talking about procrastination, obviously, obviously, and I thought we could maybe share some stories of how, because I feel like Vibes Fives have our own particular brand of it. Yeah. Maybe we can share some stories of ridiculous procrastination that we've done and dig into maybe a little bit why, like the, the thing, the thought process behind that.

[00:01:44] And why we tend to procrastinate. Maybe, maybe a little bit about what we can do about it. Yeah. 

[00:01:52] I mean, I, I feel like a lot of my life is procrastination, so I'm not even really sure where to start. I mean, I, I, it used to be way worse. I'll say that like before. I don't know, five-ish years ago before this podcast.

[00:02:09] Mm-hmm. Before all that, like, you know, I've talked about it so many times in different aspects and how it affected me differently, but doing this. You know, doing the podcast was what kind of propelled me into self-starter is, or whatever you wanna say, like a self, a self-starter mentality, a mindset.

[00:02:27] And that helped me with a lot of other areas in my life. And, and if I hadn't gotten there, I really wouldn't be good at the job that I have right now. Like, there's so many things about. About my life that if I still had the level of procrastination that existed in my life before, like five years ago it would, I just wouldn't be a functional human being at all.

[00:02:48] And, um, and what I've learned is that procrastination is. At least in my life, particularly tied to the thing that I'm most afraid of. Mm-hmm. Or the thing that I'm most insecure about or whatever is carrying the most baggage from somewhere in my life is usually 'cause right now, it's definitely the fact that I'm like, you know, in over my head trying to learn how to be.

[00:03:10] How to do like music engineering, and I am very much using that as an excuse to not release things. Ah, yep. Just keep tweaking. Keep tweaking. Yeah. Well, and it's not even about tweaking. Like I know what it should sound like and I just don't know how to get there. So now I'm in this weird place where I'm like, do I just let somebody else do it?

[00:03:30] I know. So I think I'm at that place where I'm like, I just need to let somebody else do it and watch them do the things that I don't know how to do and teach me how. So that's kind of where I'm at there, but I literally have like four songs that are like 90% there, ready to release. I just, but instead of like finishing them, I just start another one because I really enjoy the production part of it where I'm actually creating and, you know, tracking things like I, that's my favorite part.

[00:03:53] So I feel like it's, it's hard to move on and do like the less fun part, which is just making it sound good. Right? Yeah. 

[00:04:05] What do you think is your most. One of your most outrageous uh, procrastination stories or maybe a better way to ask this question is what's something really stupid that you've procrastinated about?

[00:04:14] And then it ended up not being a big deal at all. Oh, yeah. Like the, uh, what's it, um, what's it called? Eat the Frog or Swallow the Frog, or something. You know what I'm talking about? What, what? I don't know. It just swallowed the frog just sounded so weird. Oh, it sounds weird. Yeah. Maybe it's eat the frog.

[00:04:32] I dunno. Yeah, it's eat the, it's basically the concept that like, you get up first thing and do the thing you don't want to do first thing, right? Yeah. It's, it's usually those kinds of things. It's a thing. Um, the other day. I, so I have like this personal loan with a local credit union here, and I've had it for a very long time.

[00:04:53] Just been paying it off and I, it always comes out on the first of the month and I really want it to come out on the 15th of the month, so it's a different paycheck and every, because it's always late because my first paycheck goes all the, all to rent and everything, so I never have enough. So then it ends up getting delayed 10 days and then gets.

[00:05:10] Paid on the 15th. Right. And so, and every time I call them or they call me and they're like, you gonna pay this loan? And I'm like, yeah, I am on Friday. You know? And then they're like, cool. And I'm like, I can, how can I change this? You know? And I did this so many months. Um, and they'd be like, well, it has to be caught up payment wise, and then just call us and we can change the date.

[00:05:30] So that was probably two years ago. And just the other day, I paid the, I knew it was paid up, I knew it was caught up and I was driving home. I was two minutes from the, from the, from my house and I. Just was like, you know what, I'm just gonna call him. And so I just called him in my car driving and was like, Hey, I wanna do this.

[00:05:50] And they're like, sure, we'll put in a request for it, no problem. And I hung up the phone, and then I got an email like an hour later. It was like, it's changed. I was like, damn it, it was so easy. And I put that off for like, I don't even know. I mean, it, I, I, I might be exaggerating, say in two years, but I don't think it's that far off.

[00:06:07] It's at least a year. And so every month I would go through this. Same cycle with them over and over again. I'm like, okay, I've just gotta remember that when the, when the, when it goes through, because you know, you pay it and then it takes a few days to go through and it's just, it just keeps getting put on the back burner.

[00:06:20] And then before I knew it, it was the first again, and damn it, it's late again and now I want to move it. A lot of little stuff like that happens in my life all the time, I feel like. Yeah. And it's. What's behind that? Is it that you've built it up so much in your head that it's going to be such a big deal?

[00:06:37] Yeah, I mean, or just, just honestly, I think a lot of it is just remembering to do it. 

[00:06:41] Like, um, I found recently I was doing that a lot in my job where like, you know, as working as for an alcohol distributor, working as a wholesaler, like I have right now, I think I have 111 accounts, right? Like. That's a lot.

[00:06:57] That's a lot. And in every single one of those accounts, I'd say out of those 111, there's like 65, 70 that are like active on a weekly or biweekly basis. Like active as in like ordering things, asking me questions. What inventory do I have about this? Can I get this inventory in? How long is it gonna.

[00:07:14] Take blah, blah, blah. Your, your phone is always blowing up. It is. It's always blowing up and sometimes all the way until like 2:00 AM because I have only on-premise, which is restaurants and bars. And so sometimes they're like, Hey, don't need a response right now. I'm just texting you so I don't forget it's end of my shift.

[00:07:27] I need these things. And so, and I'm usually up, um, because I too come from the service industry and it's still in my, still in my DNA and so I'm like, I've already got you your build, right? But. I've learned one, when somebody orders something, if I, if, if, as long as it's like, unless there's something really, really stopping me, put it in right then don't wait.

[00:07:47] That's one thing. Yeah. No matter when it is. That's why like, I'm not gonna tell all my accounts this, but like if they send me a text with an order being like, Hey, can you just go get this in? Let me know you don't, you know, you can respond tomorrow and it's like 8:00 PM I immediately do it and just send it back like, yeah, you're good.

[00:08:01] I've gotta build, you know. But yeah, I think that, um. And that's one thing, um, that I've tried to put in place. But the biggest thing is, is just learning how to use the Reminders app on my phone constantly for everything because it automatically shows up on my work calendar too, as a to-do list, like a checkoff to-do list off at the very top of the day.

[00:08:22] And so all I have to do is remember once a day in the morning look at it and see what do I have to do today and what, you know, 'cause I put dates on everything and priority, I just use the, you know, use all the functionality of the app. I said for a long time I was going to use the Reminders app and then just didn't you, you procrastinated on using the Reminders app?

[00:08:41] I procrastinated and so like I, I procrastinate organization because I know that once I go down that whole I love organization, but I tend to be oftentimes or. Historically, um, pretty disorganized because I procrastinate the process of creating the efficient system. Right. Uhhuh. But then once it's there I'm like, I should have done this forever.

[00:09:03] Yep. So I, I just create, I, I make the bed that I lay in. Yep. You know, it's just, and I know it too every time I'm like, is this my fault? There's no one else to blame. 

[00:09:19] But I have learned how to do that and I feel like my job got exponentially easier and, yeah, just trying to extend that to every area of my life as often as possible.

[00:09:23] Without getting too worked up about it, I guess, because then I'll just keep procrastinating it because I don't know, it's just like this block in your head. I, I didn't think these things would be that hard, but I knew that it was gonna take the amount, like. Again, maybe it's like that finite amount of resources that we think we have.

[00:09:40] Uhhuh and energy, right? Uhhuh. Yep. And it's like, well, I don't wanna allocate it to that 'cause I'd rather allocate it to, you know, making music or playing video games or Yep. Go, you know, whatever, go watching my favorite show or whatever. Anything else that is not that thing. Right. And then but what usually ends up happening is if it's a recurring thing, it actually ends us, ends up taking more of our energy over time from not dealing with it For sure.

[00:10:01] A hundred percent. Because then it just keeps coming up and you're like, leave me alone. Why would I keep thinking about this dude? I went. Over three years with expired tags. Oh, buddy, that's a good one. That's, I did the same thing. I just got my, uh, tags, uh, new tags before I went to my parents' house last week.

[00:10:21] Dude. But you drive your car all the time. I know. Well before I did it this time, I went the last time and it was almost two years that I did it. I never got pulled over. Wow. Yeah, so we, we have a second car that I barely drove. Right. Just 'cause I work from home all the time. And, uh, and then I. I, I don't remember what the catalyst was, but I'm like, I'm gonna start driving this more.

[00:10:42] And like we, oh, we finally got it fixed. 'cause it was having some issues. And well actually, this is another thing. I took it to the mechanic because I thought it was the alternator and they're like, the alternator's fine. Uh, we can't figure out what's wrong. So you gotta take it to the auto electric shop.

[00:10:59] Okay. And here's the number. We told them that you're, you're gonna call them. And I didn't call them. Yeah. Because I don't want to call people. You're like, well, yeah, and also like, now you gotta go through it all over again. Right, right. With a new person. And, and so I just didn't I didn't. Do anything with it.

[00:11:18] I just kinda let it sit in the driveway for like two years. Yeah. And I would drive it occasionally, but I would have to often have to like jumpstart it to get it to, to start running. Yeah. 'cause it wouldn't hold a charge. Mm-hmm. And then finally I took it in and it was the battery. Oh my God. I, I, but I had bought a new battery for it.

[00:11:38] But the battery that I bought apparently was cheap and wouldn't hold a charge after like a few months. And so he just put a good battery in it and I didn't have any problems with it after that. But then I still didn't go get my tags because in my head it's like I don't want one just outta principle. I don't wanna have to like back pay.

[00:12:01] These however many years 'cause this, this is a thing that I thought that they tried to make you do. Right? Oh. If it's like, okay, I was gonna say, that's not a thing. If it's like three years, like you're supposed to, you know, it's three years. Pay for all those years, pay for all those years unless, Nope. Um, but there's like this form that you fill out.

[00:12:16] Hmm. Apparently, and I'm like, well, I don't wanna figure out the form. So like, Amy printed out the form for me or just like sent me the form so that I could just like print it out and, and then I'm like, I don't want to go in and have this conversation and have to justify how, like, yeah. Technically I would drive it like.

[00:12:30] Once every couple of months. So technically I did drive it, but yeah, and it's just, I built this thing up in my head and, and finally I'm like, okay, I've, I've just gotta go get these tags renewed because I'm, I'm altering my driving patterns to try to avoid Oh my God. Like cops seeing that my tags are expired.

[00:12:48] Right. Okay. Yeah. And then I go in and there was no line and it literally took five minutes. And I handed her the form and, uh, she was like, okay, actually I just need to put all this into the system for you and, uh, you're good. And that was it. And I walked out and it was like 50 bucks or whatever. I don't know why you had to have a form.

[00:13:12] Uh, I don't, I dunno, this is getting down a rabbit hole, but I didn't have a form. I went in, I put 10 minutes on the meter thinking maybe it'll be 10 minutes. And then I go in and I ended up, I was in and out of the courthouse and back at my car and still had seven minutes left on my, my clock. Wow. I was in and out in three minutes.

[00:13:30] I walked in, there was no line. Wow. Walks right up the counter and I was like, I need to get new tags. And she goes, okay, uh, can I see your id? She looked up the other thing and she's like, this car right here? And I said, yep, that car. She goes, okay. Here you go. And Brenda and I walked out. Wow. And I was like, what?

[00:13:43] I've been putting that off for six months. Well the thing too is like, it was really, really obvious that my tags were expired. 'cause I had the old license plate. Oh. And it had been like, oh, you got the blue. Okay. Yeah, they changed the very, obviously changed the license plates in Tennessee. Yep. So we were way past that point.

[00:14:01] Yeah. Yeah. I've got that new ID too. The new license, the Tennessee license for anybody who is listening who's not in Tennessee, they, they're ugly. They're so ugly now. Yeah. Anyway, that's a, that doesn't matter. So the, the lesson that I learned in this, mm-hmm. Was. I gotta stop building this stuff up in my head.

[00:14:23] Like it's gonna be a much bigger deal than it is. Yeah. I mean maybe, maybe the real conversation is how how much our, like inner narrative influences our decisions to thinking that something is something that it's not, you know, we build everything up to be Yeah. And maybe it's always, it's just the things that are inconvenient.

[00:14:39] Yeah. If it's inconvenient, it becomes something that is way more than that. It's like a detrimental thing to our day. Yeah. That's really interesting how like the inconvenience factor is. Mm-hmm. Really what. Yeah. Amplifies things a lot and a lot of times it's not even inconvenient, but we think it is because it deviates off the path that we set for ourselves that day.

[00:14:57] Right, right. Yeah. 

[00:16:42] The, I've also, I've learned some new things about myself with procrastination lately. Okay. Because there are, there are layers to it because there is this aspect of building things up in your head as being like taking way more effort or being much more of an inconvenience that makes me or touching toes.

[00:16:56] Now you switch, you switch legs.

[00:17:04] I'm just trying so hard not to touch your foot because I was trying not to distract you that I did, uh, you know, I'm not even gonna cut this out. You know, I'm just gonna tell everybody. The videos that you never see that we always record. Um, because why are us sitting at a table procrastination. Which is a procrastination, but that's a, that's probably the most ridiculous one that we do together.

[00:17:25] Really. We've been doing this podcast now for five years. We have released some clips of videos. Yeah. So people do know they exist if you follow us on socials, but like. Well, we have full episodes that, I mean, this looks great. And we have a whole studio set up with three point lighting and like 4K video.

[00:17:45] 4K videos. And it's literally just to make us feel like, wow, look at what we did. It looks so good. We never used it. We never used it. But anyway, we've switched to sitting in chairs and Well, we sat in chairs before they were just very uncomfortable chairs table and we were at a little table. Table, yeah, table.

[00:18:00] Yeah. So now we have comfy chairs. Yeah. Um, but now there's nothing, uh, there's nothing between us. So we're sitting with our, with one leg up each of us. Yeah. And Cody did have his left leg, but now he moved to his right leg so that our toes are, are, we're playing footsie basically. Yeah, man. I'm sorry, I distracted you.

[00:18:18] You had things you were learning about yourself. We can circle back to this one. Okay. So. Yeah. So there's, there's, there are layers to this, I'm realizing mm-hmm. In that there's things that I build up in my head is going to be way more effort or inconvenience than I think they're going to be. Yeah. Or than they actually are.

[00:18:39] I mean, and then there's, there's a new one that I learned about myself recently. 

[00:18:45] Uh, which is the YouTube video thing. Oh, yeah. Right. Okay. And, and this one has multiple layers to it for me because there is one just the not wanting to be seen. Oh, yeah. There's that piece of it. Sure. Right. Yeah. I feel that all the time and, and that that will influence the decisions that I make.

[00:19:11] And then there's the. I'm, I'm realizing that there's the over researching piece of it. Mm-hmm. And there's, there's kind of two versions of this. There's the one that you were talking about where like, you know, what you want it to be and, but it's not quite good enough to put out yet. Yeah. And, and then I have a, like a, an altered version of that, which is I, at this point, because of the career that I've been on.

[00:19:41] The, the career path that I've been on. Mm-hmm. And I, um, I've been researching, you know, like marketing and online business and all this stuff for like a decade. Yeah. And I have a background in documentary filmmaking, so I know how stuff's supposed to be. So I have all this theoretical knowledge. Mm-hmm.

[00:19:59] And, and I just like, would not get started. And I Oh yeah. And I realized that it was because it was the story that I know that I'm going to be bad. Mm. I know that I have all of this head knowledge, but I have not had practice and like sitting down and recording, you know, a talking head YouTube video.

[00:20:22] Yeah. And that whole process. Right. And I know that it's going to be bad. And, and I, I realized that it's the, I have this idea in my head of what I want it to be, what I feel like it needs to be to accomplish what I want it to accomplish. And then I know that when I sit down the gap between those, the reality of my skills and what it I, I what I want it to be, there's gonna be such a big gap there.

[00:20:54] That it's going to make apparent how much effort it's going to take over the long term for me to actually get to the point where I wanna be. And so I, I would rather not start. Because that feels so overwhelming. Well, and also having to like face those parts of yourself. Yeah. You know, I think a lot of that is like, you know, if we're gonna go into like a, a little bit of like a therapy world right now and just like, you know, analyze that a little bit, I think that, 'cause I, I, I also understand this, it's like, you know that when you start digging through, like you start sifting through all that, you're gonna find.

[00:21:29] The real, the fear, the real reason that you're not doing it. And it's much deeper than that. Yeah. And it's probably like, probably goes back to childhood or so, like, it's gonna be like, it's like deep layers of either trauma or like whatever that's like causing, 'cause I know for me that's, that's definitely the case with music things, I mean.

[00:21:46] So, yeah, I just talked about trying to be doing like music engineering and stuff. Like I've, I've always wanted to do that, but never thought I was good enough to do it. Mm. And like that, I, it was just like, I've never, I didn't go to school for it or I didn't have all these years of experience, even though I did at least be a musician.

[00:22:00] I've been around it, I've been exposed to it. I know how to generally mix things, you know, I know how it should sound, but I just didn't think that I could. And it took me getting to a place where I did, you know, released a record last year. In a studio. It was amazing. It was a lot of fun. It took so much money to do that.

[00:22:17] And I was like, if that's what it's gonna take, then I can never do this. And the only people that release stuff regularly and know how to do it generally know how to do some, you know, engineering. That's how they do it most of the time. And so I was like, maybe it's just, I've just gotta do it. I've, it doesn't matter if I think I can or I can't, I've just gotta do it.

[00:22:34] And so, like. Every time I sit down and like try to make it happen, I have to face those inner demons of like, you're not good enough to do this. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know. I don't know why you're trying blah blah, blah. You know? It's like, yep. I have to keep coming back to this part of me that says, I knew I really want to do this, though.

[00:22:49] I want to know how, because I, I love it and I just want to know how to do it. It's not, but it took the utilitarian part of it, the, like, the need, the necessity to learn to make me actually do it. Yeah. And it's still hard. Yeah, it's still hard. I've been doing it all year and I haven't released a single song.

[00:23:04] Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing too, is like, I think what you were saying too, like you've come so far with procrastination. I've come so far with procrastination, but there, there's always these layers and there's always new avenues for us to procrastinate. It's like we can solve it in one place, but then it moves to another place.

[00:23:20] Sure. Yeah. And, and with the, with the YouTube video, it's, it was the same thing. 'cause this is something that like I, there's a part of me that has been wanting to do this for a long time. And, and also it's the scariest thing. And so I've been doing everything Yeah. In Enneagram five, except putting out video.

[00:23:39] Right. And so, um, I, I finally just sat down yesterday and did it. Mm-hmm. And it, one of the things that inspired me, I watched this Ali Abdal video, uh, he wrote the book Feel Good Productivity, which I'm a big fan of. Sounds nice. Yeah. Yeah. And, and it's learning to kind of sit in that tension, uh, that's separate from yourself and, and, and removing yourself from the feeling and the action.

[00:24:10] Mm-hmm. Where you can say, objectively, I do not feel like doing this. Yeah, but that, but, but you can kind of hold that in one hand and hold, like, but I'm going to do it in the, in the other hand. Yeah. And it's not like you're trying to like brute force your way through the feelings. It's like just acknowledging that, hey, this, this sucks, this doesn't feel good, but I'm doing it anyway and it'll be okay.

[00:24:33] Like I'll get through it. Yeah. And, and that's, that's definitely how it was for me. Like, I, I sat down yesterday and the inner critic was hitting me so hard. It's like mm-hmm. You know, I'm trying, I'm trying to talk into the camera and it's like, oh, you suck. Like no one wants to listen to you. Like, this is so boring.

[00:24:53] You know, just all this stuff. Right. 

[00:24:55] And, and, and then and I like got through it and I had like an over, over an hour of footage and it was the same thing sitting down today to try to edit. It's like, I've gotta get this down to like, under 20 minutes and I'm just, you know, it just seemed like such thi this herculean task.

[00:25:11] But I did this, I sort of did the same thing. I'm like acknowledging, yep, this. This sucks, but you know what? I'm doing it and just get started. I'm like, I can do it for five minutes and then once I do the five minutes, you know, I end up doing it for like an hour or two usually. Yeah. But yeah. 

[00:25:24] And that's like the social media piece too, like that's, it's the same thing.

[00:25:27] It's the same reason like, if any of you follow me on Instagram. Uh, handle Cody James Harris. If you want to, you can go on there and follow me and watch me literally just post memes because I never, I never post music stuff because the idea, and, and you know, and I've, I've, I've come up with all of these, like I.

[00:25:46] Excuses for why I don't do it, and social media sucks. Social media sucks. I don't want to be a content creator, which is all true, but, and I think that's the hardest part about that. Well, I actually do wanna be a content creator. That's the funny thing. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I want, I mean, I like being a content creator.

[00:26:03] I just don't wanna be the subject of that content that, but yet the content I'm creating is coming from the depths of Right. Who I am as a person. Yeah. 

[00:26:10] And I think too, a lot of it was just trying to figure out, like everybody always has like a brand. They have like a thing mm-hmm. That they go off of. And like, as an artist, like what do you stand for?

[00:26:18] What do you do? You know, and as a, you know, a podcast is easy. We know exactly what we're here for, you know? Yeah. Um, and that's such an easy brand. But for to brand yourself. As a person and what that is going to entail, what kind of content you're gonna create, and every single person. I know there's people listening right now that would probably tell me the exact same thing.

[00:26:35] Your brand is just you being yourself, Uhhuh. So, and yourself is posting memes. That is true. And avoiding the camera, but see, yeah. Well, and yeah. 

[00:26:46] And so I think, and so I've been really trying to like, just like build myself up to making more video content. Whether it's like playing a song on a video or like going live and just, you know, hanging out or talking.

[00:27:00] All of that sounds terrifying to me. Um, I just don't wanna, I just don't want to, but like, deep down, I kind of do. Like I kind, you know, fives want to be known. Yeah. And I do want to be known. We wanna be known. We just don't wanna be seen. Oh, that's the soundbite right there.

[00:27:19] Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I don't, I don't want the, and, and well, and you, when you put it on the internet, you don't have control over how, how it's going to be consumed or received. Yeah. And so, the internet is a really vicious place these days. Yeah. Um, full of just awful, awful things and, and terrible things people do and say to each other

[00:27:38] and then it pushes people to do even crazier things to themselves because they think the.

[00:27:42] The world is over. Right. And, and cancel culture. All these things, right? So it's just like all of that now is even more excuse why I should procrastinate more and not put more stuff out there. 'cause now I'm a little bit afraid to do it. You know? You made it, you made it existential. Yeah. It's way better, it's way worse than just, what are they gonna like me or not?

[00:28:00] It's like, are they going to hate me and try to ruin my life? You know? And I, and, and what am I gonna talk about music? What I love about music, all the things around music, movies, comic books, like that's the things that's like my three pillars. Yeah. And because I'm autistic, that's the only three things I want to talk about ever.

[00:28:18] You know, and music or like this kind of stuff, the podcast. You should just write songs about comic book and Marvel movies. Then it could be a thing, but then it, then it becomes a gimmick, you know? I don't know. It's like, that's like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm not gonna do that. Also known as a brand.

[00:28:38] Yeah. But you know those artists, they do like. It's like a party trick, you know? You just Weird owl. Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. 

[00:31:51] Anyway but yeah, I think there is something to be said about putting things off because we're afraid of that part of us, that we're afraid of the thing that's making us not want to do it.

[00:32:05] Like, I just think that that is probably, at least for me, with the big things, not like. Calling the bank to change my date of my loan payment. But like big, like the things that we really care about and we keep continuously put off, it's, I can always trace it back to a core part of me that I don't want to deal with, but know that I should.

[00:32:25] And, um, and eventually I do. I would like to think, anyway, I've come a long way just this year I feel like, in terms of just like facing the things that I've always wanted to do, but have been really afraid to do. Yeah. And, you know, and I, and I keep, I You just bought a house. I, I did just buy a house.

[00:32:41] Yeah, you beat me to a milestone. That's, I thought about that actually, 'cause you're always ahead of me. But yeah, so that's happening. And now that's a whole other list of things I can procrastinate about. 'cause now we're gonna have a new space and may potentially like a, a real makeshift studio we can record podcasts on.

[00:32:59] We might actually record content on a regular basis. But yeah, 'cause like I know we want to, we want to release episodes every two weeks, I think is the schedule we decided on? Yeah, we were saying weekly. And I think we've gotta build up to that. 'cause we don't have the systems in place for that. We don't.

[00:33:15] Well, we need a space we can walk into and hit record. Yeah. 

[00:33:31] Because again, too much if we, if we have, if we allow the friction, like resistance in a situation, uh, whatever those things are, I just feel like the way that I'm like, it's just like sitting down to record. I try to remove the, the, the most, like, different components of resistance or friction that I can, I can get to where it's me sitting down on the mind in front of me hitting record, right? Yep. And so I try to do that, but, I think with a, a dedicated space makes it a lot easier to do those kinds of things. Right now, my room is like my work office and also it's a little bit of a recording studio plus where I do editing for podcasts.

[00:33:50] Plus we record the podcast in here and it's a tiny little room, you know, in an apartment. It's not ideal. Yeah, there's definitely something to be said for being able to control your environment to, in a way where you can remove as much friction as possible. Right. Like my, my, my dream. Space is an actual recording studio at home that I walk into, flip everything on, and it's time to go.

[00:34:13] Right? Yeah. Then it becomes, because then you've turned that, that place into like a playground. Yeah. And it becomes like only fun like that. That's the thing that I'll be thinking about doing all the time. Dude. My dream is to one day buy a house that just B basically has like a. Big ass barn or something that I can turn into a giant makerspace.

[00:34:33] Mm. And I can do like woodworking and I could do like 3D printing and have a music and podcasting studio and like. Photography studio and all the stuff that I am interested in and you know, it's like my, like my, my, my dad has that and he doesn't use it. Yeah, yeah. He's also a five. That's true. And procrastinates everything.

[00:34:53] He literally has a lathe that he's, I don't know if he's ever used it. Really? Yeah. It's crazy. I'm like, well, maybe one day I'll have a space for it. I'll take it from you. Anyway. That's my, yeah, that's my dream. That's, I get that. Yeah. To at least have it. I don't have to use it. Yeah. I just have to have it.

[00:35:08] Yeah. We are collectors, aren't we? Collectors of, of, of, uh, have failed dreams. Welcome to Enneagram five.

[00:35:20] So we know how you feel about procrastination. Yeah. How do you feel about deadlines? Deadlines are kind of what saves me from procrastination. Right. I hate them. Right. But it always gets done. Yeah. Because what one thing I love is checking a box off of a list. Mm-hmm. A to-do list. And so like, I love, I have a bunch of stuff to do in a day.

[00:35:42] Make a list. Because I can, I'm literally like all those memes on the internet about people who are like, I'm gonna make this list of things, make a list check. You know? I'm definitely that person. Yeah. It's like, get me started with a few easy checks and then I'm on my way. I gotta get the momentum first, but, uh, I mean, deadlines, I like deadlines.

[00:36:00] I, I don't, but I do love hate relationship with them. Yeah. Same. Like on one hand, if I have too many deadlines. I get so burned out so fast. Oh, yeah. Too many isn't, yeah, can't too many. Like there's, if there's too much structure for me. Yeah. Like external forces requiring like when and how I spend my time and energy for sure.

[00:36:22] Yeah. Oh, like I hate that. But one thing that I've, I did, or a trick that I've sort of had to teach myself is to. Set, like raise the stakes of something that I, that I want to do and I know I need to do, but I am I'm really procrastinating on it. Okay. And and it's usually by making some sort of like public declaration.

[00:36:50] Of, of setting a date for something. Oh, okay. So I did this with, uh, when we did be beyond the mind. Mm. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, so the first thing I need to do is set a date for like, when it's going to start. Yeah. And, and then announce it. Yep. Even though it, it's not ready. Yeah. And that was the most uncomfortable thing.

[00:37:16] Like that whole, that whole project was like I'm really proud of myself because it for me just personally, it showed me how far I've come, especially with everything that was going on in my life. Like as soon as I set that date, my life just kind of blew up. Yeah. Which I'm we'll get to in future conversations, I'm sure.

[00:37:30] Yeah. But, uh, but I still like. Showed up and I did it even though every cell in my body was screaming, just like, return everyone's money, you know? Oh yeah. Do like, you know, you don't, you're not in the right head space for this. Like, this is not the right timing. You can try it again later. And it's everything I was trying to do, like it was, it was trying to get me out of the situation.

[00:37:49] Mm-hmm. But I'm like, no, I'm doing it. And it sucks. Like not. Internally, it sucked, but like, it, it actually ended up being a really great experience for me and the other people that I've talked to who, who, um, who participated but, but man, the, these just sort of like inner wrestling that I had to go through to shed those layers and silence that critic to get to the point where I could do that.

[00:38:17] That was. That was quite, quite a herculean effort. Yeah. Well, and I wonder too, you know, a lot of that with something so performative and also putting you in a place of, you know, some authority there to at the very least, facilitate a situation and a conversation between people in your. You're giving an opportunity for people to grow.

[00:38:42] There's a lot there, there's a lot at stake and a lot riding on your shoulders for that. Yeah. A lot riding on my shoulders. And it was very vulnerable because this was, um, this was like my baby. Yeah. This was a, a, a course, a six week program and it's based off of my own experience and like it's all me.

[00:39:03] Mm-hmm. And like putting, well, I just spit all over the place. Sorry. Um, putting, putting myself out there like that. Oh, that was, that was hard. Yeah. 

[00:39:18] Well, and, and, and as a five i, the performative aspect of it, you want to you know, I think that for, I, I know for me it's hard to, if I, if I think that it might, that I might fail or look stupid.

[00:39:27] You know what I mean? Yeah. Like we want to look like the professional, we want to look like we have everything together. And I've, I've, a lot of times if in my life, what I see and, and what really helps me is, is getting to a place where I. At least, at least can pretend to not care about those things.

[00:39:46] Right. And realize that like, you know, this is gonna sound so cheesy. It's like, it's the journey, not the destination, but like, but it is, you know? Yeah. And, and it always ends up, it, it, you usually find the best parts of the thing when you're being vulnerable and when you're showing. More of yourself and your imperfect self in a situation.

[00:40:07] I just find that like usually that creates the beautiful moment that you actually were hoping for, and we will try to plan it to a team. Yeah. Because I will, I've done this, you know? Mm-hmm. In past life with church stuff. I used to do this all the time. I would do like. Seminar type things. And I would do a lot of teaching situations and I, you know, I'd be on a stage like talking to a lot of people and Yeah.

[00:40:26] And I would try to plan out every single detail and it just never went the way that I wanted it to. We wanna plan out our growth journey, like, right. Yeah. Yeah. Every step of it actually. Okay. Yeah. Every single minutia. At this point, we should be here. Uh, but growth is inherently chaotic and messy and, and takes you places you didn't know you were gonna go.

[00:40:48] Yeah. And didn't even know existed sometimes. Yep. Exactly. Exactly. So like, how can you plan that? Yeah. Um, and, and you know, and I think that you, it's, and on that note, it's always going back to movies. Here is one of my pillars. The movies that always get to me or usually like make me the most emotional are the ones about.

[00:41:05] Just appreciating the beautiful moments that life gives you in all of these situations, those indie films, you know, the things that, just like diving into the human experience at such a microscopic level sometimes. Mm-hmm. That you, you, you know, they bring out this, this beauty that maybe you hadn't considered before.

[00:41:24] And a lot of that usually hits home with me because I know that I'm busy planning my, my every detail of something so much that I often miss those moments. And so, and as I've gotten older. I tend to slow down and I'm sure you do, especially having kids. I feel like that accelerates that process to try to appreciate those small moments that are along the way.

[00:41:43] And honestly, I feel like those things are actually what shows us how much we've grown and how far we've come. It's not, yeah, it's not the achievements that we're trying to make. It's not the projects we're working on. It's not any of those things. Those things come and go and then you're moving on. It's like, it's the, when I think back at the core memories that, uh, I of my life, at least my adult life in the last five, 10 years, whatever.

[00:42:03] It's none of those things. Mm-hmm. It's none of the big things that I was too afraid to do, but it, you know, but like, I can guarantee you this year, one of my things that I'll look back on in this year is the moments where I chose to step up and do the thing I was too afraid to do. Yeah. You know, I, I can look back and, and literally you can measure with your ears how far I've come in the, in the, in the mixing process, what.

[00:42:27] Yeah, just the mental image of that measure with your ears. Um, but you can a, I can actually hear the progress. Right, right. And so, um, you know, I will, but, and that's great. But what I'm gonna remember is probably the beginning where I said to myself and everyone that would listen, I'm gonna do this this year.

[00:42:46] I'm taking this year. Yeah. You know, 'cause, and it's been. Everybody always asks me, what are you doing with music? And I'm just like, well, I'm not playing any gigs. I'm not doing anything, but I am doing this thing right now. And so, and I don't really have like an expectation for where it's supposed to go.

[00:43:00] I'm just trying to build a skillset. And I think that that's been honestly, really, really life giving for me. And also because I know I have to remind myself what I'm doing it for. And I think that's a big thing that I don't always have in every area of my life. Sometimes I'm doing things. Just because I'm supposed to, or like, you know, it's really hard for me to go the extra mile in my day job, right?

[00:43:22] Like I'm spending all my energy doing these things and because I don't really know where my day job's taking me except to pay bills, like I don't really care about it as much. And so I, I save all my resources for these things and I. I think that, you know, my main, one of my main reasons for doing this is 'cause I want to have like a skill set that I can offer to the community in the city and the music community and be, and try to get like, re-plugged into that world and, and have something to that I, I think is something of value that I have to offer to other people that I could like work on their songs and stuff.

[00:43:53] 'cause I would really love to do that. And so. To me, that's something that I've never really had is something that's actually bigger than myself. I'm not just doing it for myself. I'm doing it because I would like to do it with other people and I want to have something and I would like to give other people what I didn't have.

[00:44:05] Yeah. And so, you know, I think that's something that's honestly helped me a lot and helped me get over a lot of those fears that create procrastination and all that friction in my life that creates the scenario in which I can procrastinate. Right. Yeah. 

[00:44:19] There's, there's definitely something to be said for the power of shifting your focus off of you and onto someone else.

[00:44:27] Yeah, definitely like in, in a lot of realms, but also when it comes to procrastination, because it's like, I think that's, that's part of it is we. Get so caught up in our own head and it's just this like inward focus. Mm-hmm. Um, and then we go through these thought spirals and we, you know, and then the next thing we know, we looked up and it's been like six months and we haven't done anything.

[00:44:49] Right. Yeah. But to your point, ear earlier, like having kids is, it, it just, it highlights your procrastination in a whole different way. Yeah. But also there's, there's this, like, the stakes are so much higher and the for, for most things. And the, the accountability's there in a way that if it's just you, it's, it's harder.

[00:45:17] So like

[00:45:17] I found that there's so many things that are easier to do because I'm doing them for my kids. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. And, and that's a good reminder for me of if I'm caught up in this spiral. That's a good sort of circuit breaker mm-hmm. Is to take the focus off of me and put it onto someone I'm trying to help.

[00:45:41] Mm. And and that also was a, you know, kinda going back to the beyond the mind thing. I did like, that was one of my tactics too for getting through it, which just focusing on, on trying to help people. And I also gave myself an out, which was, I said that. If you go through the whole thing and you do all the, the work and at the end you didn't get any value from it, I'll give you all your money back, no questions asked.

[00:46:06] Yeah. And then that sort of also took the pressure off of me. Right. It's like, like, eh, nobody loses anything. Right. It's fine. Right. Yeah. And, uh, and if I fail, I will have a really obvious way that people can tell me, but nobody asked for their money back, so yeah. Nice.

[00:46:22] So one thing that I, we can challenge each other, okay. And challenge the people listening. Think of one thing right now that you've been procrastinating on. And just spend five minutes making progress. Just say I don't have to finish it. I don't have to do any, like, I don't have to, you know, accomplish all this stuff.

[00:46:44] I just have to sit down for five minutes and work on it. Yeah. And that just that little one trick for me. Has helped me so much Yeah. In getting things done that I don't feel like doing. Hey, we have actually a great example, an anecdote if you will. 

[00:47:00] You, you and I both have been go going to the gym. Yes.

[00:47:04] Together. Yes, we have. And the best part of it is 'cause in the past I have had the hard, a hard time staying consistent long term with the gym because I think I just put too much pressure on myself of what I think I should be doing. And I also don't know what I should do. Mm. It's like, there's that too.

[00:47:21] I walk into the gym and I'm like, I don't know. What's I, I, I want to be the most efficient. I wanna make the most progress possible. I wanna just be spinning my wheels. Which, which things should I be doing? And. Having that rule of like, just going is a success. Yep. You know, just showing up is, is is job well done?

[00:47:39] And 'cause once I'm through the door, I'm, I'm happy to be there. I want be there. Yep. But sometimes it's just like making it happen. It is just, you know, it could be so hard. And, you know, and the, the funny thing is, you know, because we, we said this upfront, we've been going for a couple months now. Yeah.

[00:47:55] And on like the first three months. My goal is just to build the habit of going. Yeah. And so yes, we're doing different exercises and things, but I'm not, I'm not even focused on gains. I'm not focused on anything else right now. Yeah. It's just the win for me, the W is showing up consistently twice a week at least.

[00:48:12] Right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just do your favorite things, whatever you want. Yeah. Whatever you wanna do. And then I went last week and realized that I have, I've. All of my weights by at least 30 pounds. Yeah. But I wasn't like, that's not what I was trying to do. It was just like a natural progression of things and it just show it, it re it was a really good, tangible reminder of how these small, consistent habits build up over time into sub something substantial.

[00:48:41] Yeah, for sure. And you're ahead of me in that because if, if you were out of town, I wouldn't have gone, I was outta town last week and you still went when you said that the other day. I was like, oh, oh shit. Okay. Yeah, I've gone, I think there, maybe it was one day where I was sick and I didn't go, but yeah, I've gone twice a week every, every week.

[00:48:56] That's great. I love that. I will have to try to, that's gonna be my thing, which is in the morning for us. Oh shit. 

[00:49:08] We better, we better stop this train. Yeah. Okay. Well, till next time, hope, I hope you all, you know, figure something out. I hope you got something outta this conversation. Good luck back at it everybody.

[00:49:19] See you.

[00:49:21]